King of Kings Session 2 After Action Report

That second session the same weekend as the first didn't end up happening cuz of scheduling stuff BUT we did end up continuing where the first session left off last Friday, but this time with an expanded party of adventurers just due to more people being available and interested! Oh also, this post is now featuring the fantastic art of Locheil, the player of Zana, one of our magic-users!

Dramatis Personae

Ezendejer, level one fighter from a mountainous land far away

Ghanum Babra, level one magic-user

Ghazi the Goldtongue, level one thief
Ishthyromeda the Small, level one amazon
Manchugo Coldeswain, level one cleric dedicated to Damir, foreign god of the trade routes
Rohm'Daan, level one cleric dedicated to Anzhalar, a local chthonic god of subterranean flame

Zana the Charlatan, level one magic-user

The four adventurers who ventured into the rooms beneath the old way station decided to stay the night encamped there so that the paralysis that Manchugo and Rohm'Daan were suffering from due to the encounter with the giant caterpillars could wear off, and as morning dawned they heard the sounds of three more clients of Farzaneh just outside the way station. Helping them up the rope, they prepared for another expedition below, beginning first with Ghazi venturing into the floor below the way station to check for the hyena that was feasting there before. Ghazi completely fumbled the attempted stealth and made a lot of noise that would alert the beast... were in there. Instead the chamber was completely empty, which the group noted was likely because they had left the door to the floors below open when they left the day before.

So the group stepped down the stairs, reaching the large ancient door emblazoned with the scene of dinosaurs at the bottom of the spiral staircase. Since they had already experienced the paralysis of the caterpillars to the left of the stairs, the group decided to explore the large hall to the right. 

The hall slopes seamlessly into an extensive chamber dominated by a low-lying stone platform, almost like an immense table. Strewn about the table was a number of large coins, dominated by images of dinosaurs and roughly the size of your hand when held. After some reticence about whether the coins were trapped, cursed, or perhaps even alive, they nabbed the coins: 143 in number. 

The group moved to examine other parts of the chamber, looking closely at a large opening which has been completely filled in with dirt before moving over to a door on the side of the chamber opposite where they entered. This they discovered was also clogged with dirt, but more precisely the dirt was host to a giant earthworm! Rohm'Daan began to pet the worm, and even though they were reticent at first to have contact with these interlopers, the wriggling critter became more open to the situation and crawled out of the dirt completely. They christened the worm Mister Slithers, and realized that since worms eat dirt they could potentially use Mr. Slithers to pierce the dirt-clogged opening they were examining earlier.

courtesy of Locheil

And so, with Manchugo and Ishthyromeda cooperating in lifting the person-sized worm, they brought Mr. Slithers to the dirt-clogged opening and set him loose, although nobody was willing at the time to follow the worm into the hole they were digging.

With Mr. Slithers out of the doorway, the group realized that the area the worm was wriggling in before was actually a spiral staircase leading both up and further down into the ruins. They went to work removing the dirt, although none of them had shovels so it was rather lengthy work using weapons, hands, and brooms. As the work drew to a close, the group's torches began to go out so they lit new light sources and decided to venture further down, only to notice the gentle sound of sharp feet on stone.

Approaching the group out of the darkness were thirteen little skeletal figures, seemingly the skeletons of raptors or other small reptiles accentuated by metallic parts and gemstone eyes. The group at first prepared for combat, but quickly realized that the skeletal reptiles did not like the bright light of the torches and did not come close to them. And so began a discussion on the best course of action: quickly go down a level, potentially being chased by the little things, or push them all the way back to the stairs back up while risking a chance of being in an inopportune position when they got there? A number of adventurers were pushing for killing them to steal their gemstone eyes, but ultimately combat did not prevail.

The group decided to push back to the stairs back up to the way station, and on the way there discovered that the skeletal reptiles were absolutely obsessed with the large dinosaur coins that they pilfered from the stone platform earlier. Three of the coins were thrown into the darkness to draw the skeletons off the group, with all but one breaking away as they reached the stairs. Then, they decided to grab this last remaining skeletal reptile and make a dash for the surface. They decided to name this little critter Skeleboy, and kept him in a sack.

also courtesy Locheil

At this point it was decided to draw the adventure to a close, with speculation on who created this construction... winged giants, jinn, and pterosaurs were all candidates mentioned. They traveled the road back to Tabur, walking past crucified criminals as they reached the city's walls, having to negotiate a bribe with the city guards so as to not have to give up any of the treasure they found (this bribe amounted to 10 drachmae and a waterskin of apple cider). They paid a visit to the group's patron Farzaneh Taburi, a merchant woman of a noble family, placing the pile of ancient coinage on a table before her for her to take her cut... although they kept Skeleboy a secret from her. With this, the session came to a close.

Treasure Acquired (After Tribute)

124 dinosaur coins (value: 372 drachmae)

I think it important to note that Ezendejer explicitly chose not to take a portion of the treasure, because he abhors coin. I absolutely adored that little detail, and it has got me thinking about alternate routes for advancement for those with little care for coinage (floated the idea of nomads getting XP for horses, which I may build in more detail). Also, after the session ended, there were some fantastic discussions about the cult of the god Damir where Manchugo's player described ritual receipt-keeping and Zana's player described connections to the cult, and in addition some players wrote up short descriptions of their characters that provided me with some fantastic sources of conflict and inspiration and connections for the characters... this was an absolutely fantastic session, and I continue to look forward to more in future!

Accursed Ancestry of Agonizing Affliction (A Monster for King of Kings)

The saddest and most forlorn of all creatures are the nasnas, the mutant offspring of a jinni and a human. Unlike many other half-jinn, the nasnas were born with only half a body, and despite being the offspring of relations between a human and a spirit they are not half-spirits, nor are they spirits at all: the nasnas is a being of flesh and blood. Shunned by humanity for their monstrous visage and by jinn for their malformed physicality, the nasnas flee into the wilderness tearfully.

This is further not helped by their deadly touch. The touch of the nasnas rapidly dissolves the skin of whatever it touches; bark peels off of trees, forest mammals squirm and wriggle as they are skinned alive, and the air is filled with fearful screams of people watching their family members grow translucent and die. The nasnas does not want this... they wish they could just pet rabbits and embrace friends without watching their skin disintegrate before them.

Sometimes nasnas are brought in and taken care of by loving jinn or humans, but the majority find themselves huddling in caves as wolves hunt them down for their jinn ancestry and most thinking creatures do not help them. They are melancholic and anxious creatures who generally flee rather than engaging in direct confrontation. This varies, of course... some nasnas, when guided by others with more malicious intent, can use their foul touch for less savory purposes.

Although it is not as widely known, the flesh of the nasnas is one of the finest of meats, at least when it is cured or boiled to rid it of its disintegrating ability. It tastes sweet and salty, and melts on the tongue so softly. Hunting the nasnas is not an especially common activity, since they usually only feel safe to wander about at night, but on occasion hunting parties seek them out to slay them and cook them up. These groups are immediately identifiable by their thick black clothing which covers every inch of their bodies and their tall conical hats, often wielding bludgeons, bows, and knives.

By SamWolk on DeviantArt
(The Arabic text isn't written correctly sadly but it says nasnas)

Nasnas

Armor Class: 13

Hit Dice: 2+1

Attacks: 1 x touch (disintegrate skin)

To-Hit: +2

Movement: 120' (40')

Saving Throws: D12/W13/P14/B15/S16

Morale: 5

Alignment: Neutral

XP: 35

Number Appearing: 1d8 (1d8)

Disintegration: Anyone successfully hit by the touch of the nasnas must make a save vs. death or have their skin rapidly disintegrate as they collapse to the floor limply.

Anxious Reaction: When making a reaction roll for a nasnas encounter, results of 2 and 12 do not make the nasnas automatically attack nor befriend the group. They will never attack except in self defense.

Wolf Enmity: Wolves despise the nasnas as they despise all jinn, and will attack them on sight.

Delicious Flesh: There is a 2-in-6 chance that a group of wandering nasnas is being chased by a nasnas hunting party.

Since the flesh of the nasnas is so important, I feel like it is a great opportunity to write up a Monster Menu-all entry for the creature! The Monster Menu-all is a project by the great OSR blogger and writer Skerples, which you can check out here. For those not familiar, the Monster Menu-all is a project where Skerples writes up info on the meat (or I guess plantflesh for plant monsters) of creatures from D&D bestiaries. Thus far there is an AD&D Monster Manual version (which is staggering in its detail and quantity) and a smaller version particular to monsters from the fantastic underdark book Veins in the Earth.

Nasnas

FLAVOR: Sweet and salty pork that melts unctuously in your mouth.

NOTES: Must be cured for several days or boiled completely through in order to not maintain its skin-melting quality. 

Roll (d10)	Result
1	A skinless death. The meat was not prepared correctly and it still disintegrates skin. You die as you skin turns translucent and melts off in seconds.
2-4	Slow digestion. The flesh takes a very long time to digest, making you reek of nasnas for weeks to any with a strong enough scent. Wolves will believe you to be a nasnas and attack on sight, while nasnas may be more comfortable around you.
5-8	No extra effect.
9	Spirit vision. Eating the flesh of the nasnas has opened your eyes to the world of spirits, granting you the ability to always see spirits even if they are invisible, for one week.
10	The tongue of the nasnas. Eating the nasnas has granted your tongue the ability to melt skin and flesh just as the touch of the nasnas does. This does not affect yourself, and can only be enacted by touching your tongue onto something. This effect is permanent.

The nasnas has been written up for D&D before already... the Brit Roger Musson submitted a nasnas monster to the Fiend Factory column in White Dwarf in the late 70s.

Roger's nasnas is pretty much just a gotcha monster that isn't very powerful but is meant to freak out the players with a weird appearance and a silly way to generate damage. The comment on the bottom about how these creatures would be able to reproduce is a missed opportunity... Roger didn't mention that the nasnas of folklore is the product of a human and a jinni! You will likely also notice that this rendition of the nasnas does not include either the delicious flesh nor the disintegrating touch; these are two elements of nasnas folklore which are not present in the text that most westerners would have seen the creatures in (the 1001 nights), but rather are elements from the Gulf of Aden. The delicious flesh of the nasnas is a trait particular to the area around Hadhramaut in Yemen, while the touch disintegrating the skin of those who come in contact is from the xunguruuf (pronounced hungruf for those not familiar with Somali pronunciation) of Somalia. Technically the actual account there is that those it touches become fleshless but I kinda like the image of skinlessness so I changed it a little bit. I just felt that these elements made the creature really interesting!

The Emotional Support Goblin

A bit of a silly class just for fun today. Based on a meme I saw in the OSR discord server, which is reproduced below. Oh by the way this isn't playtested at all, I get the feeling some of it is plenty broken, but thats just how it be.

The Emotional Support Goblin

A class for use with Old School Essentials (or any similar ruleset)

Requirements: Maximum CHA 12, INT 12, and STR 12, Minimum WIS 9

Prime Requisite: WIS

Hit Dice: d4

Maximum Level: 10

Armor: Leather only, no shields

Weapons: Dagger only

XP to Level 2: 2,000

Climb Sheer Surfaces

Emotional support goblins are able to climb any surface with a 5-in-6 chance of success.
Close Bond

The emotional support goblin must be bonded with one particular character. When mending their bonded character's broken heart, they have an additional 1d6. If their bonded character dies, they must save vs. emotional breakdown (or I guess save vs. spells) or lose the ability to mend broken hearts forever.

Combat
Emotional support goblins advance in combat ability as magic-users. They are only able to wield daggers due to emphasizing therapeutic skill over weapon skill. For the same reason, they can only wear leather armor and cannot carry shields.

Infravision

Emotional support goblins have infravision to 90 feet.

Mend a Broken Heart

The emotional support goblin has a number of d6s equal to their level which they can use to mend a broken heart during or outside of combat. Once these dice are used, they are unable to perform this again for the rest of the day. When outside of combat, mending a broken heart heals as many points of HP for one friend/ally as are rolled, or alternatively they can be used to automatically heal/cure the subject of any mental effects afflicting them (fear, charm, sadness, intense pain, panic attack, paranoia, etc). Such effects are healed/cured/comforted on a result of 11+ (maximum of 3d6 for the roll). In combat, the HP healing effect cannot be performed, but the emotional support goblin can use the dice to help a friend/ally automatically succeed a saving throw against a mental effect. The emotional support goblin can also use mending a broken heart to add an extra d6 to a retainer's morale roll in combat.

Saving Throws

Emotional support goblins save as fighters, but receive +2 to saves against mental stress.

Scare Away Animals

Emotional support goblins are able to attempt to frighten away wild/domestic animals so that they cannot hurt their friends. When scaring away an animal, they make a morale check modified by the difference between the goblin's level and the animal's HD (minus the difference if the animal's HD is higher, plus the difference if the goblin's level is higher). This can only be done a number of times per day equal to the goblin's level.

Stealth

When in dungeons or in any level of shadow, the emotional support goblin is able to hide/sneak with a 3-in-6 chance of success.

Sunlight Sensitivity

Emotional support goblins have -1 to all rolls when in full sunlight.

This definitely provides an answer for all those who were definitely totally for real clamoring for some kind of fusion of the cleric and the thief. Well here is I guess a sneaky healer class that just becomes a less good thief if their best friend dies. The XP requirement does not change if your bonded character dies, so make sure you try to keep them alive!

Two Mummies for Kings of Kings

I love mummies. They are some of my favorite undead creatures, both in terms of Dungeons and Dragons and in other media like horror movies and Halloween decor (yes, Halloween decorations are a form of media/art, you can't prove me wrong). The mummy in Dungeons and Dragons is a very unique creature, which other bloggers have written about before... its "mummy rot" as a gameified translation of the curse associated with Egyptian mummies from the archaeological dig at the tomb of Tutankhamun, its place as a higher level undead enemy despite not having the dreaded "level drain" (which is another topic that plenty of other people better than I have written about plenty of times). 

I do intend on using the iconic D&D mummy in King of Kings, but in addition I have some other thoughts, inspired by both some mummies from real life and other creatures from the history of D&D (one of which you may notice below).

In particular, both of these mummies are likely to appear in a location in Elburz Satrapy known as Temple Town, a religious settlement built atop centuries upon centuries of tombs, shrines, and temples at the foot of the Holy Mountain just north of the capital of the satrapy.

A "saltman" from Iran

The Dessicated

Armor Class: 13

Hit Dice: 4+1*

Attacks: 2 x touch (1d6)

To-Hit: +4

Movement: 60' (20')

Saving Throws: D10/W11/P12/B13/S14

Morale: 12

Alignment: Lawful or Chaotic (never neutral)

XP: 350

Number Appearing: 1d4 (2d6)

Paralyze with Terror: Anyone seeing a dessicated must save vs. paralysis or be paralyzed with terror. Paralysis is broken if the dessicated attacks or goes out of sight.

Dessication: If a victim is hit by both touch attacks in a single round, they are dessicated and take an extra 1d10 damage that cannot be healed naturally. The only way to heal damage taken from dessication is to perform a particular ritual (see below). Brinemen, fish, amphibians, and water spirits take double damage from dessication.

Damage Immunity: Only harmed by fire or magic.

Rehydration: If the entire body of the dessicated is covered with water (river, lake, waterfall), it dies instantly.

Undead: Make no noise, until they attack. Immune to any effect that affects living creatures (i.e. poison). Immune to mind-affecting or mind-reading spells (i.e. charm, hold, sleep).

The dessicated are walking corpses of the deserts, mountains, and caves which have lost all moisture in their body due to the incredibly dry conditions they were placed into. Most dessicated were not mummified with any particular process, but rather were interred in a tomb with dry air or significant amounts of salt which naturally dried them out. Their faces are forever frozen in a scream, their skin a thick hard leather, their joints stiff as they clamber out of their tombs. The dessicated are a not uncommon sight in the mountainside crypts of Temple Town, and in the depths of long abandoned salt mines.

Rehydration Ritual

A magical ritual

Ritual Elements: a large body of fresh water (river or lake), the blood of a water buffalo, an amount of sugar equal to 1/6th the amount of water

Ritual Steps:

    1. Place the dessicated individual into the water, with all armor and clothing removed.

    2. Beseech the spirits of the water to enter into the body of the supplicant dessicate.

    3. Bring the water buffalo to the water, making sure all four of its feet are in the water. 

    4. Slash the buffalo's throat with a clean and sharp blade, letting the blood drip into the water.

    5. Bring the sugar to the water, making sure both of your feet are in the water.

    6. Pour the sugar into the water.

    7. Thank the spirits of the water and wait. The spirits of the water will heal the dessication within an hour.

(The above is the first of what I may build into a larger ritual magic system where characters have to gather information on the steps of a ritual and get the elements together in order to perform it. May expand on this in future).

I kinda wanted to avoid Egyptian stuff
but it was kinda hard to find one that
looked right

Ancient Ancestor

Armor Class: 16

Hit Dice: 5+3*

Attacks: 2 x weapon (1d6 or damage by weapon) OR curse.

To-Hit: +5

Movement: 60' (20')

Saving Throws: D10/W11/P12/B13/S14

Morale: 12

Alignment: Lawful or Chaotic (never neutral)

XP: 925

Number Appearing: 1d4 (1d4)

Frozen in Awe: Anyone seeing an ancient ancestor must save vs. paralysis or be frozen in awe. Paralysis is broken if the ancestor attacks or goes out of sight.

Damage Immunity: Only harmed by fire or magic. Fire damage is as normal, but magic weapons deal only half damage.

Resinous Preservation: The sticky resins used to encase the ancestor's body in ancient days make them incredibly adhesive. Any weapons or items that make contact with the ancestor stick to it. The only way to break the adhesive is with fire or boiling water. If the ancestor is pushed or otherwise forced into a wall, it must make a save vs. paralysis or stick to the wall.

Binding Embrace: If both of the weapon attacks of the ancestor hit a victim, the victim is caught in a sticky embrace by the resinous limbs of the ancestor. During that round they are unable to do anything to stop the embrace, but every round thereafter they can make a strength check (or save vs. paralysis whichever you prefer) to break free. All attacks directed to the ancestor (other than backstabs) will deal damage to the victim caught in the embrace.

Ancestral Curse: Instead of attack in a round, the ancestor may choose to point at any creature it can see and curse them. The character makes a save vs. spells, resisting the curse on a success. If they fail, the fear and anxiety make them unable to act in the next round (every round thereafter they are able to act as normal). The actual effects of the curse reveal themselves in the days, weeks, and months after the encounter with the ancestor. (Roll on the table provided or come up with a curse yourself).

Undead: Make no noise, until they attack. Immune to any effect that affects living creatures (i.e. poison). Immune to mind-affecting or mind-reading spells (i.e. charm, hold, sleep).

Ancient ancestors are the cadavers of long forgotten kings, queens, warlords, and sorcerers, preserved with pomp and circumstance in days long past. Their skin is thin and drawn tight on their bones, encased in a sticky layer of resin and a set of glittering golden armor. In death they are still able to think and speak, but often find themselves vengeful for their once great empires and domains having crumbled in their absence and their legacy either forgotten or spoken of only with spite. 

(I feel like the D&D inspiration behind this bad boy is pretty apparent... one of my favorites!)

1d12 Ancestral Curses

1. The Spiral Curse: The victim of the curse slowly contorts into a spiral, unable to move at all other than rolling like a wheel, liable to just roll uncontrollably down sloping surfaces or hills.

2. The Oozing Curse: The victim of the curse begins to sweat a thick green ooze, at first rather slowly, even growing to the point that they cannot see through the muck and have difficulty moving as the slime overtakes them.

3. The Wasting Curse: Over the course of roughly a month or two, the victim wastes away until they are little more than skin and bone. They will not die from just the curse alone, but their light weight and thinness makes them susceptible to life-ending injury.

4. The Following Curse: The victim of the curse realizes that they are being followed by a being which is invisible to all but themselves (and any who is able to see invisible creatures). If the being ever catches up with them, they will die.

5. The Earthworm Curse: Slowly and painfully, the victim of the curse transforms into an earthworm. They can feel their bones melting in their body as they lengthen out and lose limbs over the course of a few months.

6. The Shrinking Curse: Each day the victim wakes up noticeably shorter than they were the day before. After a few months, they will be absolutely minuscule, unable to function in human society.

7. The Faceless Curse: Over the course of roughly a month or two, the victim's face fades from existence. In its place there is only a featureless span of skin. They cannot eat or drink and will likely die.

8. The Cow Hate Curse: Cows, buffaloes, minotaurs, and other bovines absolutely despise the victim of the curse and will attack them on sight. As time goes on, cows will start to seek them out and try to kill them.

9. The Brainless Curse: Over the course of roughly a month or two, the victim's brain will slowly seep out of their skull. This usually occurs at night, but if their head is struck in combat they are likely to lose some more brain matter. They steadily lose ability score points as this progresses, begin to lose the ability to fire missile weapons and cast spells, and eventually will die.

10. The Shaking Curse: The victim begins to quiver and shake uncontrollably, only worsening as the weeks pass on. Eventually they will be unable to fight, and will often drop potions or other items on the ground.

11. The Skinless Curse: Over the course of roughly a month or two, the victim's skin grows translucent, then becomes nonexistent. They will feel pain near-constantly, and must be wrapped up tightly if they wish to not take damage from dust or strong winds.

12. The Folding Curse: The victim of the curse slowly discovers they are folding up like a letter, their bones creaking in their sleep until they are perfectly folded into a shape not dissimilar to a cube. Once this is complete, they will be completely unable to move.

King of Kings Session 1 After Action Report

 Well one of the main reasons that I haven't been as active on this blog as of late (along with, of course, my semester of college drawing to a close with exams for all of my classes in the last week) was that I have been preparing to actually RUN King of Kings... which I did just yesterday!

For a bit of information regarding the setup of the game, I am running King of Kings as an open table game drawing from a pool of roughly 20 players, although this first session just had four of those players involved. We are playing over text chat in discord simply for ease of use for my players.

Also, this after action report/session synopsis is courtesy of my lovely girlfriend, a person who has been interested in King of Kings since I starting talking to her about it. The bulk of the text below is what she wrote following the end of the session, with little if any edits.

Dramatis Personae

Ghanum Babra, level one magic-user

Ishthyromeda the Small, level one amazon

Manchugo Coldeswain, level one cleric dedicated to Damir, a foreign god of the trade routes

Rohm'Daan, level one cleric dedicated to Anzhalar, a local chthonic god of subterranean flame

(by the way, as an aside, those two gods mentioned were both created by the players of those respective characters, I like having player-made elements form the basis of worldbuilding stuff... will probably write more about religion in King of Kings soon, with more on those deities and their cults.)

As the session opened, the group of four were discussing among themselves which of three rumors they had heard in the surrounding community to pursue. It took only a short time for a conclusion to be reached based on the knowledge they had on hand: the four of them would follow the road to the east to explore a traveler's way station built in what remains of an ancient tower. What in particular they heard of the way station was that in a blocked off level beneath its floor there is a cache of glittering gold.

While traveling on the road, they came upon a group of merchants, led by a woman named Behnam. She confirmed the rumors of gold in the tower, but also warned of the forest's warring factions of highwaymen, and that a den of boars resides near the tower. She also mentioned that her and her group had left a stash of salted meat for any travelers who stop there after them, as a courtesy.

The four arrived at the way-station, and thanks to Ishthyromeda's skill with the javelin, were able to ascend into an elevated entrance on the side of the tower. Investigating, they found that the upper levels were home to dangerous bees, and so elected to descend. The second level down contained a hyena, which the group was able to evade as it was distracted by feasting on the salted meats that Behnam had left behind.

The tower continued downward via a large spiral staircase, ending in a stout door engraved with a dinosaur. The group opened it, finding a chamber too large for their torchlight to reach the edge. They heard footsteps off to their left, which they followed, revealing the source to be a pair of dog-sized fuzzy brown caterpillars. Both clerics attempted to pet the creatures, but were paralyzed by their pale cyan mouth-tendrils. Babra fended one of them off by throwing a knife into the caterpillar's side, but after an ineffectual combat conjured a mystical floating disc to carry the two incapacitated men of the cloth away as they and Ishthyromeda beat a hasty retreat to the entry level, where they made camp and waited for the paralysis to wear off.

And well, this is where the session ended! No treasure was acquired, but the group did learn about the hazards beneath the way station... Normally I would require them to return to a town to end the session but I allowed them this as a bit of a special thing since the way station functions as a fine encampment for the night to allow them to wait for the paralysis to wear off and to regain a spell and whatnot. The group will venture down into the floors below to attempt to snag any treasure they can next week!

I'm really really glad that we finally started, and I actually will be running another session with some different people on Sunday! Really looking forward to more sessions!

Toward a More Perfect Statblock: The Early Editions

As someone who loves monsters in roleplaying games, loves writing monsters for roleplaying games, something that I think about a lot and have been thinking about plenty lately is the subtle art of monster stat blocks. Something I am very interested in is ascertaining the best way to present monster game information: which statistics are important to list, what is the best way to order them and present them while saving on space and making the presentation relatively simple. To start figuring out how best to present monster stats, I thought it would be best to go back and see the different ways they were presented in the game systems I take the biggest inspiration from!

Numerical statistics for monsters have been a thing since the beginning of Dungeons and Dragons, although they weren't always organized in the form of "blocks", which I think anyone familiar with Original Dungeons and Dragons would immediately know. When the three little brown books came out in 1974, monster statistics were written out as a rather large table with all notable values in each column.

The first page of monster statistics in Volume 2: Monsters and Treasure

This format works really well for ODnD, and does effectively communicate which information is important. Since all damage was 1d6 in the little brown books and combat issues were explained elsewhere (in Men and Magic), the only information that had to be noted for combat encounters in the little brown books are AC, Movement, and Hit Dice. Number Appearing is similarly important, and can really illustrate how one is expected to deal with a given hazard: a small group of adventurers isn't going to go toe to toe with 300 bandits. 

There are two elements here that are somewhat more obscure and situational however: % in Lair and Treasure Type. Unlike the three combat statistics and the number of the creatures which are encountered, these two are only applicable in the event of the group of characters venturing into the lair or encampment of the monster in question. I personally have issues with the presentation of treasure types in classic D&D (as I generally have problems with abstract numerical or alphabetical categories that are not easily communicable). Sure, hit dice and armor class are both numerical abstractions rather than descriptive terms, but it is rather obvious that a higher value correlates to the creature being harder to hit (AC) or able to take more hits and make more hits (HD). Treasure types, on the other hand, I cannot make heads or tails of; they require reference to separate tables that are not neatly organized like the tables for things like attacking or turning of undead. % in Lair, additionally, is something that makes a lot of sense and is important to note, but what I am somewhat unclear on is how it works for groups of monsters. Obviously for a large singular monster like a dragon its just the percent chance that it is in the lair when the players visit, but for that group of 300 bandits, is the percent how many of the total group is there, or perhaps whether the entire group is present in the lair? As far as I know, that isn't explained in the little brown books, but it is possible that I just missed it.

From what I know, the Holmes Basic set from 1977 is the first instance of formatting monster statistics in a block format rather than a table. The table format illustrated with the Monsters and Treasure example above was used in the ODnD supplements and in third party materials like the Arduin Grimoire and All the World's Monsters. Tables with the statistics of large numbers of monsters would remain present in Dungeons and Dragons, typically in some sort of reference sheet, but from 1977 on the more common presentation was the stat block format with a text description beneath it that provided more details.

For the sake of comparison, I'm going to use a monster that is present across all of the editions I'm referring to: the owlbear.

Already this includes more information than was listed in the little brown books. Movement, hit dice, armor class, and treasure type are retained, but both number appearing and % in lair are dropped, while alignment, number of attacks, and damage is added. Alignment was information that was present in the little brown books, but which monsters were of which alignment was separate from the monster statistics. Damage was identical for all attacks in the little brown books, and technically that is the same here in Basic, but the "optional rule" for variable damage was supported across all monster descriptions. I find it a little funny that an "optional rule" was supported across basically the entire game, but that is a different topic.

The order of statistics here is a little strange. Personally, I feel like the values closer to the top should be those that are the most important to reference during gameplay, for ease of reference. Hit Dice and Armor Class are definitely important for running combats, but so are attacks and damage, and yet the two sections are divided by the listing of the owlbear's treasure type and alignment. Hit Dice being listed second after movement is also a bit strange, since HD is such an important thing to reference, seeing as it affects to-hit rolls, hit points, turning (for undead creatures), spell effects, and number of attacks per round for a fighter (if you're using that common rule from the period of Original D&D). 

The next source of monsters to come out after the release of Holmes Basic was the Monster Manual later in 1977.

Oh God. Okay, I love the first edition AD&D monster books very very much. The Fiend Folio is by far my favorite official D&D monster book, and the Monster Manual is an incredible source of creative inspiration and useful creatures for your game. But first edition AD&D was the beginning of the end for monster statblocks designed for readability and usability. Though I will say, love the art on the owlbear here. Having any kind of art is definitely an upgrade on the sparseness of some of the Basic line's monster sections.

So, starting with the commonalities with what we've already looked at: number appearing and % in lair are back after having disappeared from Holmes, and armor class, hit dice, movement, treasure type, number of attacks, damage, and alignment are all included. In a way, these AD&D stat blocks just cover everything included in OD&D and Holmes, and then some. 

But let's take a look at the new information that is included in addition to the statistics already present in OD&D and Holmes. The stat block begins with Frequency, which is a descriptive term rather than a number. Personally, I think using descriptive terms is better than using numerical values, which is something I might write about in future, but the frequency listing is almost incredibly unnecessary. The beginning of the AD&D Monster Manual describes it as determining the percent chance that the given creature will appear, and mentions that this was part of building the random encounter tables in the Dungeon Master's Guide. So it was only something that was noted because of its use in the design of the game, not for utility at the table. The only time that Gygax would describe how to translate these values into something more gameable was his guidelines in the back of the Monster Manual 2 on making random encounter tables using 1d12+1d8, but even then I don't see why these exact frequency values should be followed when the referee could determine the commonality of a given creature in their world based on the needs of their game and what would make the most sense for the region. As much as noting frequency builds verisimilitude, it just isn't something that is useful, and it being the first item on the stat block is mind boggling.

After Frequency there are all of the statistics which were present in both Holmes and OD&D. Wow, already all of the information present previously is covered in one big block. The organization is the same kind of disjointed order that we saw in Holmes, although it isn't in the same order. I actually think that number appearing being at the top is a really good choice organization-wise, since it is the first thing that will be rolled whenever a random encounter with the creature is made.

Then we have the bulk of what I find to be almost useless in the AD&D stat block. Special attacks, special defenses, magical resistance, and psionic ability. In Basic, any special abilities of the creature would be explained in the creature's description, which they still are here, so I personally don't understand the use of distinct notation for those aspects of the creature since the referee will have to reference the description anyway. Magical resistance and psionic ability are a unique set of statistics: on the one hand, they are incredibly inspirational and create a kind of verisimilitude where you think of what it must be like for there to be creatures that can simply throw off spells or explode people's brains with their mind. The only problem is, they are things that only a rather small set of creatures actually have as a meaningful aspect of their place in the game world. The overwhelming majority of monsters in the Monster Manual (and every other book for 1e AD&D for that matter) do not have psychic abilities and do not have special magic resistance. I don't think something should be noted for all creatures when it only applies to a certain subset of creature.

Intelligence and size, on the other hand, I think are pretty useful to be able to reference. I think they can probably be inferred or understood from description, but sometimes just having an easy reference for stuff like that can be useful. I'm somewhat torn on them though, since I do think you can usually tell whether a monster is small, human-sized, or really big from the description, and same with whether they're an unthinking object, an animal, stupid, average, genius-level intellect, etc.

There is something else I want to note about these stat blocks however, but it isn't something that is actually present in them; rather, it's something that is gone completely: morale. It's also something that wasn't present in the stat blocks of OD&D and Holmes, but I felt it especially important to note it here. First edition AD&D does have morale rules, but they are hidden away in the DMG and rather fiddly. Why something that so directly plays into the way that combat works is such a complex an unusable mechanic is beyond me, really. Morale really should be something that is able to be referenced on the monster stat block.

Okay, I'm starting to feel like I've been rambling enough, but I do want to look at one more stat block format, and that is the one used in the Basic line post-Holmes.

Okay okay I know I have a bit of a bias because Moldvay/Cook Basic/Expert is my favorite version of D&D, but this is an improvement on the format present in AD&D. The flexibility of the stat block here is really nice, it being in two columns to save on space is good. It being in two columns a lot of the time does kind of mess with my points about the more important information being higher up on the block, but hey that's not gonna stop me.

It basically has everything we've already seen, but with the addition of morale and saving throws oh my God how did I forget saving throws it is also absolutely awful that AD&D doesn't list saving throws for monsters. However I do think that hiding some of this information behind references to a different section is very very Bad. I understand why monster saving throws are listed as a particular level of a given class, but having to flip back and forth between the class saving throw listings and the monster listings is Not Good. I think the attacks having more descriptive names rather than just being a number (like the owlbear's 2 claws/1 bite) is very very good, and as is treasure type and alignment being at the very bottom of the stat block (since they are not things that need to be referenced for a given encounter, they can be put a little bit out of the way; both treasure type and alignment are mostly important when setting up a lair or for certain situational effects). Also, number appearing lists two values now, because the second value is the number appearing in a lair or wilderness encounter, which is something that is a major improvement since there were already implied differences in those numbers in other editions of the game.

This isn't something unique to the Moldvay Basic stat block above but I just generally dislike listing number appearing and damage for attacks in ranges rather than dice notation. It is a layer of difficulty between checking the number and actually rolling, and I believe that simplifying these situations is the ultimate goal!

The later BECMI game reoriented monster stats back into a single column format, and reordered the statistics, but otherwise they are exactly the same with the exception of XP being listed, something which I think is a good thing generally. Otherwise, everything else I think about this is basically the same as the B/X stat block format.

So, conclusion:

As I said at the start, I think monster stat blocks should be presented in as simple and usable a form as possible. Based on what we saw with the formats from OD&D, Holmes Basic, first edition AD&D, B/X, and BECMI, there are some important things to bring into this ideal monster stat block format. From my own experience running games and from examining these stat blocks, here is what I think is important (or perhaps necessary) to note for a game that functions like classic D&D:

Number Appearing (this determines how the group of creatures is approached and interacted with, for rather obvious reasons)
Hit Dice (important for hit points and to-hit)
Armor Class (important for player attacks on monsters)
Movement
Attacks and Damage (these are important for rather obvious reasons, but I think that they should be combined into one line)
Saving Throws (ideally presented not as a reference to a class's saving throws but rather as saving throw values listed in the stat block. perhaps a set monster saving throw matrix on a separate reference sheet?)
Morale (one of the most important parts of how combat works in old school D&D in my opinion)
% in Lair (important for when players visit a lair, more explicit on what this means in general)

Treasure Type (if you must note it, I'll write about treasure types more in future)

Alignment

Experience Points

This isn't what I would say the perfect stat block format is. This is simply a simplification and refinement without changing anything about how the original stat blocks in classic D&D work. I haven't actually reached a conclusion as to what I think the best stat block format is, but I am going to be posting more close examinations and discussions of this in future! Sorry if you don't care about that, it's just something I'm interested in and want to put more thought into.

Kalikantzaroi: Just Use Goblins!

Although one of my favorite parts of game and worldbuilding is making interesting monsters for players to encounter, talk to, fight, or otherwise experience, I really really appreciate the ideas behind things like "Just Use Bears" or the "Just Use Goblins" series of posts over on d4 Caltrops. So here is an example of that (namely just use goblins), for the King of Kings setting!

Kallikantzaros

Stats as goblin, except:

Fastidious Counters: Kallikantzaroi are compelled to count anything in front of them, which leaves them trapped while they count the holes in a colander, grains of rice, or the individual strands of a broom.

Mundane Damage Immunity: Can only be harmed by magical attacks.

Nocturnal: Kallikantzaroi only come out at night and dwell in darkness. They have infravision and have an aversion to light sources, especially the sun.

Turning: Despite being often hostile spirits, kallikantzaroi are not unclean spirits for purposes of clerical turning (i.e. they cannot be turned by clerics).

Uncanny Conversationalists: Kallikantzaroi will oftentimes try to strike up conversation with those they meet at night. They are able to imitate almost any noise, and will often draw people out to ask them questions. If they do not answer the question with the word "black", the kallikantzaros will put them under a supernatural charm (save vs. spell to resist).

Weaponry and Armor: Kallikantzaroi typically wield axes and sawblades, and often wear chainmail clothing.

In the real world, kallikantzaroi are goblin-like spirits in the folklore of the Balkans and northeastern Turkey, typically depicted as horrible little dark things with animal features such as donkey ears, boar tusks, and goat legs. In the folklore of Christian countries in the region they typically come out during Christmas time, called the "unbaptized days" in Serbia, in Greece Christmas being the only time that the kallikantzaroi can take a break from cutting through the base of the world tree (allowing it to heal before they come back down on Epiphany (Jan 6th)). I kind of took influence from multiple countries' interpretations of the kallikantzaroi in making the above, albeit getting rid of any overt references to Christian holidays or specific patterns of which days they can come up to the surface to terrorize people. Rather, the kallikantzaroi in King of Kings dwell underground or in isolated abandoned locations, and only venture out at night to terrorize people in the countryside. 

Since they are spirits, they of course cannot be harmed by mundane weaponry. I think this makes them a much more formidable enemy than being a typical goblin stats-wise would imply, since while yes they have low HP in comparison to other monsters, actually dealing damage to that HP is a bit of a different question. It is much easier for lower level characters to just scare them off with their torches, although they will do everything in their power to try and put them out.

I don't really think I need much of an in-setting description for this one, at least at the moment. They are fairy tale esque goblins, I think plenty is communicated by the modifications made to the normal goblin stats and just looking at the original folklore. But here's an idea: how about I communicate some of what I think about these creatures in King of Kings using a table of encounter activities (I know, blatantly stealing from d4 caltrops again, but whatever).

So, without further ado, here are d30 things that the kallikantzaroi may be doing when encountered!

1: Feverishly chopping away at a tree with their axes, the air filled with giggling as woodchips fly everywhere.

2: Desperately trying to count all of the leaves on a tree but they keep on having to start back over again.

3: Torturing a small mammal by slashing at the ground when it tries to move.

4: Sitting on top of a pile of rice after having counted the whole thing.

5: Eating all of the fruit off of a tree to leave it barren.

6: Pissing into a well for the nearest settlement.

7: Tearing off every individual needle off of a pine tree.

8: Repeatedly stabbing a poor bird that has been dead for what seems like quite some time.

9: Reading poetry backwards to a number of lizards and rodents.

10: Chopping away at the legs of a horse that they have charmed with the sound of neighing.

11: Keeping a peasant ensnared where they stand with the imitated voice of a loved one.

12: Talking among themselves about the best way to chop at the beams which hold a house up.

13: Loudly ringing bells and imitating wolf howling to bother the people in the area.

14: Trapped counting the bristles of some brooms, wondering out loud where the person they were just talking to went.

15: Slapping the ground with a switch made from tree branches, chastising the world for allowing suffering to take place but snickering between sentences.

16: Throwing stones at birds and squirrels to torment them.

17: Gnawing on unidentifiable bones with bones and sticks strewn about them.

18: Twisting a blade back and forth inside of someone's back, looking closely as they writhe in pain.

19: Playing with birds that they have snatched up, pretending to fly with the birds in their hands.

20: Screaming. Just imitating the sounds of strained screaming.

21: Telling each other very unfunny jokes that they find incredibly hilarious.

22: Sitting on top of a fallen tree trunk, gazing at the horizon.

23: Drinking the blood of a sleeping animal.

24: Tearing up grass and leaves and dancing while throwing them up into the air.

25: Playing with a dead snake, but completely ignorant of the fact that it is dead.

26: Trying to keep up a conversation with someone who died right in front of them, increasingly getting angry with the lack of response.

27: Sitting atop a signpost, gesturing at passers-by with their weaponry and asking them probing personal questions.

28: Gnawing at the base of a tree and spitting up bits of bark every so often.

29: Playing a little game of ball with an animal or human skull.

30: Riding a goat around, giggling wildly as they dash around this way and that.