Goin' Through the Fiend Folio Part 14 (Retriever to Sheet Phantom)

Alright, back to reviewing every monster in the Fiend Folio, a classic series on this blog that... jeeze louise, the last time I posted one of these was more than a year ago! Uh, my bad. I already talked about why I wasn't so active on the blog in a post back in May, but like, all that goes double for just never getting around to reviewing the FF again. Anyway, here's the first installment in the Goin' Through the Fiend Folio series, here's the last installment, etc etc, let's pick up where we left off!

Retriever

★★★☆☆

Nasty, bloody, and real effective, the retriever is a certified Fiend Folio classic! Six-eyed (with four different eye-rays that cast fire, cold, lightning, and a transmutation spell!) and four-bladed spider-things, constructed by the demon-lord Demogorgon, built in such a way that they "strike maximum terror into their victims." In this description, Demogorgon comes out sounding like a mad scientist of some sort, like a Dr. Frankenstein or a Yakub, except instead of making the white devil race, he made a bunch of evil robot spiders. Or, well, me calling them robots is maybe projecting back onto them somewhat. You see, I was first introduced to the retriever in the 4e Monster Manual 2, the very first D&D book I ever owned, before I even knew what D&D really was! I think I've mentioned this on the blog before, albeit briefly; I basically treated it as a bestiary that communicated an implied setting all its own, with no connection to anything else. And I loved the retriever in the MM2. 

 

You won't hear me say this often, but I actually prefer the version of the monster in 4e than I do here in the AD&D Fiend Folio. This is doubly shocking to me because the FF retriever has art by my favorite Russ Nicholson, with his grotty style bringing a slimy hairy vibe to the original retriever's illustration. And I love grotty, slimy, hairy beasties; but the sleek, explicitly robotic design on the 4e retriever stands out so starkly against monster other demonic entities, giving it a quality almost similar to the smooth slicked-back look of Giger's xenomorph design. Mechanically, the two aren't actually that different; both have four eye rays (though the 4e retriever has each ray pairing a damage type and a lasting effect, so an acid spray that also blinds the target, a thunder-ray (whatever that is) that stuns the target, etc.), both have bladed claws they make melee attacks with, etc.; the major differences are that the AD&D retriever has a fear effect that causes all characters of level 5 or less, or all monsters of HD 6 or less, to save or flee, and that the 4e retriever has a self-healing ability, a "retrieve" ability that grabs a target on a failed save, and "Unerring Accuracy," which allows it to TELEPORT to the approximate location of a given target. That is so cool, and means that the retriever actually, y'know, retrieves; it is a creation given a particular target to teleport to, grab, and then disappear (tho there's a "cooldown" on its unerring accuracy ability). I don't like 4e mechanically, but this retriever that actually retrieves is a much more compelling creature than Dr. Demogorgon's fucked up and evil spider (as much as I love Dr. Demogorgon's creation; one of the more boring elements of the 4e retriever is that it isn't related to any particular demon, but just to "the primordials" in general).

 

 

The 4e MM2 retriever

The revenant in COMBAT

Revenant

★★☆☆☆

This creature has pretty much the same problem as the penanngalan from our last entry: a way too long description that prescribes one particular narrative arc of dealing with it. The revenant (another example of AD&D statting up every single synonym for an undead monster as its own separate entity) takes up a full page and some change to more or less just describe an animated corpse motivated by vengeance against whoever killed it, ceaselessly seeking out its murderer and their associates; on top of that, it cannot be killed by any means except fire, and its limbs will continue to attack even after being severed, and will reattach themselves if they are able to. There you go! Doesn't need a full page of description! But, of course, they have to go into what specific ability scores someone must have to become a revenant when killed, the fact that its immune to turn undead (for the reason that it isn't evil but instead is neutral? Didn't know a cleric's turn undead only works against evil undead, apparently), the fact that it will only attack by strangulation not with weapons, its immunities, eye-based fear ability, when it will hunt down the killer's associates, and how it doesn't even have to be the body of the person killed (very weird and arbitrary decision). This is pretty clearly intended to be a punishment for murder-happy players, unceasingly hunting down the party but with abilities that counteract most strategies players would use to combat the undead. A murder victim hunting down their killer from beyond the grave is incredibly compelling, but the execution here is clunky and overwrought. Love the two Russ Nicholson illustrations they gave it though.

Rothé

★★☆☆☆

Shaggy-furred bovines that live underground. That's about it. They're smaller (only 4 feet tall), presumably as an adaptation for their subterranean environs, but other than that they are little more than cows or yaks. I like the image of underground bovines, but I think I would rather just use normal cows or some kind of explicitly troglobitic cow, rather than this bespoke fictional species. Just kinda meh. 

 

Sandman
★★★☆☆
"The sandman's name describes it exactly"-- I have to appreciate a monster description that opens with that! Mysterious humanoids made from sand that make all who come within 20 feet (or who touch them) very very sleepy. They aren't hostile, only acting to forcibly remove someone asleep under their power if they happen to be in the sandman's lair. Simple but effective! I think I would want one more incongruous weird element to add some depth; as it is right now, the sandman is little more than a word-association game between the fairy tale sandman and literal sand. 

The sandman is our first Fiend Factory creature in this post! The original Factory sandman is more or less the same, just left a bit vaguer in terms of mechanics; though it is also noted that the sandman will attack players at least until they fall asleep, whereas the Folio description doesn't mention attacks on players (though perhaps its assumed). Don Turnbull, in his note on the monster, remarks that the sleep effect means defenseless players left open to wandering monster checks! That's such a good thing to point out; a generally non-hostile creature that incapacitates the players and leaves them open to wandering monsters is always a good thing to have in the dungeon. He also asks why the AC is so high, and y'know thats a good question, I hadn't noticed that: both the Factory and Folio versions of the sandman have AC 3, one point less than plate and shield. Also, the illustration is different, the Factory sandman being much more indistinct, leaning over into a crumbling limp, with "hair" caught in the wind, while the Folio sandman is just a frowning dude done in a stippled style.

Scarecrow
★★★☆☆
It's a scarecrow! The opening line to the sandman's description could work just as well here. Everybody loves a good spooky scarecrow. These are magical constructs that "always... appear evil and of malign intent," and they have turnips and (based on the illustration) gourds for heads. The one weird thing is that the scarecrow has a charm effect that causes the viewer to be stand shock still, as if under the effect of a hold person spell, out of "fascination." Don't know how I feel about that effect, its pretty basic and incongruous but not really in an interesting way. Nothing much else to say, although gotta shout out another great Russ Nicholson illustration!

Screaming Devilkin
★★★☆☆
Despite appearances, not actually a demon or devil, but simply a mundane creature that looks like one. The description specifically compares screaming devilkin to mephits, although its illustration is much more like a chubby little devil baby than the more gremlinesque mephits. Always hostile, always attacks (boring!!), although it attacks with a barbed tail which is always fun. More notably, the screaming devilkin, well, screams! It will constantly scream in the presence of other living creatures, and its screaming is so loud that conversations can't be heard through it and all those in the range of the screaming have to make a save to even just attack or cast a spell. Not the worst power to have, although it's more or less the same thing that the classic Monster Manual monster the shrieker has; I definitely prefer weird screaming mushrooms to weird screaming devil babies.

Shadow Demon
★☆☆☆☆
Incredibly boring. Maybe doesn't quite deserve a 1 star, because it is honestly usable mechanics-wise, but conceptually and mechanically its just boring. "The essence of a demon imprisoned in the form of a shadow," whatever that means; ultimately, it just means that its a souped up alternative to the shadow from the Monster Manual, with a more typical sorta-edgy demon silhouette complete with bat wings and an evil glare. It is more powerful in darkness and weaker in light (yawn! who could've seen that coming!), can cast the darkness spell, has a strong jump because of its wings but can't fly, etc. And it takes up half a page of description to basically say everything that someone would just guess from "shadow but with more magic powers." Very low conceptual density!

Sheet Phantom and Sheet Ghoul
★★★★★
YEAH I'M GIVING THE SHEET PHANTOM FIVE STARS SO WHAT!!! This is one of those classic Fiend Folio monsters that everyone loves to crack jokes about and say is stupid, but that's because everyone hates IMAGINATION and the horror that can come from something incongruous or somewhat goofy. These two monsters are actually listed in reverse order from how I have them here, just due to the alphabetical order, but the sheet phantom is the more important of the two. Sheet phantoms are wraithlike undead that appear as rectangular pieces of cloth (translucent and ghostly? The exact appearance of the rectangle is unclear in the text, just the measurement) and crawl up onto ceilings to drop down on their victims, suffocating them until they perish and rise anew as a sheet ghoul. The description for the sheet ghoul doesn't mention that the sheet phantom hangs on the ghoul, but many later illustrations (see below) depict it that way. Sheet ghouls don't have the paralysis powers of the ghoul, but in exchange they can shoot acid from their nostrils!!!! I love that so much!! Why does the wraithlike sheet phantom cause its undead thralls to snort acid? It feels so gnarly, and like maybe it would slowly corrode and destroy the sheet ghoul as it uses the attack; maybe a sheet ghoul under a sheet phantom's thrall for long enough has a dripping, melting hole in the center of its face where its nose once was, corroded away by its acidic snot. The imagery of the sheet phantom's suffocating attack is also delightfully horrid; I can't help but love the pathetic horror of someone flailing on the ground as they are choked to death by a piece of cloth. I love every single thing about the sheet phantom, this is a sleeper hit!!! The description does note how similar the sheet phantom is to some of AD&D's similar drop-attacking monsters, namely the Lurker Above, a similarly maligned creature from the Monster Manual that I just love (and recently mentioned in the description for my Man-Mimic Lizard!); it even notes the possibility that the sheet phantom is in fact an undead Lurker Above, which is pretty thought-provoking (although I don't know how much it adds to the funny creepiness of the sheet phantom itself).

Here's the illustration from the 2e Monstrous Manual Compendium Fiend Folio; I think the sheet phantom ought to be bigger than that, but I love the image of it hanging on the sheet ghoul's head like that.

That's all for now! The letter S also just so happens to be one of the most monsterful letters in the Folio, so we will be picking up where we left off next time, with the Shocker and, more notably, all the types of Slaad! Stay tuned!

The Carven Carapace (A Ten Room Dungeon for King of Kings)

Back in December, I purchased a little Japanese graph paper notebook, with the intention of filling its pages with as many adventure locations as I could come up with. I wrote up one (which I will be sharing here today) and then... subsequently didn't make any more until yesterday. In my defense, stuff's been goin' on. But anyway, here's the first dungeon I made for this notebook, using my favorite, the Ten Room Dungeon format from friend of the blog Tristyn. All the text is exactly as I wrote it in the notebook, with the addition of some monster stats that I couldn't actually fit into the three little pages I wrote this on and some slight edits for grammar.

THE CARVEN CARAPACE

The skeletal remains of a great tortoise, half-buried in the ground, made into a shrine dedicated to the poet laureate of the long-dead tyrant Shama-Khur. Ancient rumors once told that Shama-Khur was in a torrid homosexual relationship with his beloved poet. The shrine has been abandoned for centuries, other than the occasional peasant giving offerings and paying their respects. It is said, however, that a most beautiful lost poem of the laureate is buried in the turtle, on a slab of stone too heavy to carry out.

You can see the original unedited version of (part of) that description in the corner up there lol

Random Encounters
D6:
1-3: D4 Giant Ground Beetles
4-5: D3 Giant Shrews
6: D6 Dust Bunnies

Random Events [this, like most of my dungeons, assumes an Overloaded Encounter Die, where one of the results is a random dungeon-specific event]
D6:
1: Whispered poetry drifts into earshot.
2: The shell settles, sinking slightly into the ground.
3: Ghostly lewd moaning echoes off the walls.
4: The wafting scent of smokey incense.
5: One of the party members uncontrollably recites a line of verse.
6: A sudden draft animates a little dust cyclone on the floor.

Room Descriptions

1: The altar room. Cones of incense burning, and husks of sacrificed fruit left on the shrine. Stone brick walls depict mythological scenes, and one wall has the great poet on it. Lines of poetry circle the chamber near the ceiling.

2: Former shrine storage chamber. Stone door broken down. Inhabited by Jamshir, wandering vagabond. Desirous of warm clothes and money, but a philistine who cares not for art.

3: 6 of the zodiac signs are on the floor in a circle. A broken alcove in the wall hides a silver necklace worth 160 drachmae.

4: 6 next zodiac signs on the floor in a circle. Line up the 2 circles so that Libra and Gemini face each other through the door between the two chambers, and a secret door opens, as well as revealing an ebony box in a hidden alcove (long looted, but the box is worth 50 drachmae).

[Edit: Had a couple people express confusion over the zodiac wheel thing, which is fair because this text is the very pared down version directly from the notebook so I won't act like its super developed. Rotating the wheels to a given combination would take an exploration turn due to the weight of the wheels. When it comes to communicating the solution to the puzzle, I would likely do it one of two ways: if the dungeon is being ran as a one-shot, there would be a poetic mention of their star signs in the carvings in Room 1; if it is being ran as part of a larger campaign, their respective zodiac signs would be found outside of the dungeon, from an NPC or an ancient scroll.]

5: Secret passageway, intended for the tyrant's heir.

6: Semicircular staircase chamber, hidden behind a half-broken stone door connecting to room 2. Holds a stone chest with 200 drachmae worth of jewels, and a shiny obsidian blade that, on a failed save, slices open the fingers of whoever attempts to pick it up.

7: The inside of the tortoise skull. A crawling mass of black worms blankets the floor.

8: The ultimate chamber, the heart of hearts. A large, octagonal room, dug out of the ground, lined with stone bricks. In the center is a stone table, upon which sits a clay effigy of the poet laureate, and at his feet is a stone chest within which is a papyrus roll of poetry, which would be worth upwards of 3,000 drachmae to the right buyer. When the scroll is removed from the chest, 4d6 dust bunnies take shape and confront the adventurers.

9: A smaller side chamber, carved out of the tortoise's femur bone: the tomb of the poet laureate's mad brother. Clutched in his desiccated claw is a scroll with a vindictive spell of jealousy scrawled on it. He sits on a rotted fleece, next to a crust of bread and jug of wine.

10: The dug-out underground burrow of a mated pair of badgers, and their 4 offspring (who hide in the phalanges of the tortoise). Connected by a tunnel to a hollowed-out tree stump that can serve as an alternate entrance or exit point.

Badger
Number Encountered: 2 (+4 young)
Hit Dice: 1-1
Attacks: 2 bite (2 points of damage)
Armor: none
Morale: 9

Beetle, Giant Ground
Number Encountered: 1d4
Hit Dice: 1+4
Attacks: 2 bite (1d6+1) or 1 slam (1d6 and save or be pinned against wall)
Armor: as leather + shield
Morale: 7

Dust Bunny
Number Encountered: 1d6
Hit Dice: 1-1
Attacks: 1 bite (1d4) + 1 kick (1d4)
Armor: none
Morale: 5
Dispel and Disperse: Dust bunnies are animated by lingering feelings of sorrow and yearning. They can be dispersed by gusts of wind or the movement of fans, but will eventually reform (though this may give the players an opportunity to flee). They take no damage from mundane weaponry. Dust bunnies are immediately dispelled by the spell Remove Fear.

Shrew, Giant
Number Encountered: 1d3
Hit Dice: 1+1
Attacks: 2 bite (1d6)
Armor: as leather
Morale: 9
Agility: Always win initiative on the first round of combat, and +1 to initiative each round after.
Venom: On a successful hit, the victim of the shrew's bite must save vs. poison or be weakened and sickly, taking 2 points of damage each turn for the next 1d12 turns.

The above dungeon is, at times (not always, given how I gave into my proclivity for more flowery language there in those last two rooms), much more terse than the usual material I post to the blog. I think the constraint of the paper size in the notebook is a good influence there, causing me to really think through what I have to actually note or describe (which is why, for instance, the monster stats were originally left out). Anyway, hope y'all at least get something out of this dungeon!

The Short-Legged Man-Mimic Lizard

A friend and coworker of mine gave me an old drawing tablet she no longer uses, as a gift. I haven't used drawing tablets all that much, mostly because when I was younger I just sorta bounced off of the only one I had ever attempted to use, not quite able to wrap my head around drawing without looking at my hand holding the pen. This time, it has come much easier to me; I guess I just needed time to grow and improve or whatever. Anyway, here's a monster I drew (in MSPaint) with that drawing tablet the day I was given it.

Short-Legged Man-Mimic Lizard
Number Encountered: 1d3
Hit Dice: 1
Attacks: 2 claw (1d4) + 1 bite (1d6)
Armor: as leather + shield
Morale: 6
False Face: The short-legged man-mimic lizard sports a false human face on the underside of its neck, which, in low-light conditions, vaguely resembles a real human face. Human beings will recognize that it isn't a person, but non-humans and animals may be tricked by it.
Mating Display: Male short-legged man-mimic lizards create elaborate, almost sculptural, structures to entice females during their mating season; these often incorporate large collections of pearls collected from the insides of their prey, deliberately placed in pillars of dried lizard waste and mud. These courtship structures will contain 3d6 pearls worth 2d4*5 gold [or silver if using a silver standard] each.
Toe Pads: The short-legged man-mimic lizard has subtly hooked scaly pads on the underside of its feet, allowing it to climb walls and ceilings.

A true result of the intertwined ecosystems in subterranean dungeons, the short-legged man-mimic lizard is an active, skittering predator that prowls dimly lit halls and cavern tunnels in search of its prey. Its method of hunting: subterfuge. These reptiles feature an uncanny imitation of a human face on the pale green underside their necks, complete with bumps that resemble a nose, ears, and the folds of the cheeks and brows, a crescent moon of scarlet a la lipsticked lips, and large orange and white eyespots that, in low light conditions, would look like a human's eyes, wide in shock, to any dumb beast of the underground. One might assume the man-mimic lizard uses this facsimile to ensnare human prey, but this couldn't be further from the truth: the short-legged man-mimic lizard isn't a man-eater, but an eater of man-eaters!

Dungeons are full of monsters that have taken a liking to the taste of human flesh, namely soft-bodied invertebrates and cartilaginous creatures like Ropers, Trappers, Lurkers Above, and Cloakers. Coming upon one such man-eater, the man-mimic rears its neck, inflates the red wattles so that they sway about like hair in nonexistent wind, and positions itself right in front of its quarry's beady little eyes. When the Roper ensnares it in its tentacles or the Trapper curls its stiff body around the lizard, the man-mimic begins its vicious struggle, its needle teeth and razor claws slicing through mollusc and cave-ray flesh like butter. While sometimes the man-eater wins out, most often the man-mimic lizard leaves with a belly full of slimy flesh and its prey's green ichor blood strewn all across the dungeon floor.

Adventurers have nothing to fear from short-legged man-mimic lizards; they generally (unless under the influence of a spell or disease that addles the mind) do not engage with human or demihuman interlopers, and tend to avoid adventuring parties. The man-mimicry won't work half as well if there's real humans right next to them! They will attempt some resistance if, during their mating season, adventurers attempt to pilfer their courtship structures. Embedded in the guano and mud daub pillars of their elaborate courtship nests are pearls, little marbles of glimmering white, torn from the gullets of Ropers and Lurkers Above; these can be valuable collections for enterprising dungeon delvers. If these dungeon-pearls are large enough, they can fetch high prices from jewellers and collectors up top!

It's been too long redux (this time it's longer!)

I have kinda hesitated on making this post because it is a genre of post that has unfortunately come to typify my online creative spaces; the perennial "I miss this place, its been too too long since the last time I posted, sorry about the hiatus" post. I've even already made this post a year and a half ago, and that hiatus was barely more than 3 months; I haven't posted to this blog in more than 5 months, almost a full half a year. I've been in quite possibly the worst creative slump of my life, which had definitely started before my last post here, but definitely got worse in January-February. Haven't ran any more sessions of the King of Kings game since the last session report, haven't really written anything TTRPG related other than a couple of dungeons, and outside of RPGs, I've been struggling with motivation to work on my neocities site, to start and finish short stories, and to draw (though the latter has come back much more than the rest).

In my defense (not like I really need a defense or justification, but you know), it has been a very eventful and difficult past 5-6 months. Most significantly, and many of you who know me personally will already know this of course, on January 27, 2024, my grandfather was struck by a car and passed away; subsequently, a blood vessel burst in my grandmother's spine in an example of very sudden "broken heart syndrome," causing her to be paralyzed from the waist down. For pretty obvious reasons, this event and its aftermath dominated the subsequent few months. My grandma is doing better now to be clear, but she very much is paralyzed from now on, and having to navigate that; but obviously I'm not the one experiencing that, so I can't say much more than that.

(As an aside, I was originally going to make a drawing dedicated in memory to my grandpa, but hit some... snags in the process of making that, so I'm not able to share that right now like I originally wanted to. Not having that done was another thing contributing to me not writing anything for the blog; I wanted to have that to share along with the explanation for what's been going on.)

I don't really have much more to say, other than that I want to get back into the swing of posting to this blog over the summer; I'm going to set twin goals of finishing the Goin' Through the Fiend Folio series (which has been ongoing, unfinished since pretty much the creation of the blog!) and finishing up the King of Kings country overviews that I started last year. In the fall, I will (hopefully) be starting a graduate school program in Library Science, so who knows what will come of Save vs. Worm at that point, but hey we're not there yet.

Anyway, love you all, keep checking back here if you want to see more D&D stuff this summer, and uhh that's pretty much it.

Requiescat in Pace
Ralph Miller, September 10, 1947-January 27, 2024

Wild Cats of the Eastern Satrapies

Its been a while! Uh, way too long in fact. I still haven't ran a session of KoK since my last post, but I figured the best thing to get me back into the groove of writing RPG stuff and getting back to running King of Kings would be to just write somethin! Its been a really busy few months since I last posted; in August I moved into my first apartment after graduating, in September I went to see a friend of mine in New York City and another in New Jersey, and that same month my girlfriend started staying with me while she worked on getting an apartment in the same city as me! Then just last month I set a goal of watching a spooky movie a day for the month of October (perhaps something I should write some about... maybe a topic more fitting for my neocities site!) and helped my girlfriend move into her new apartment... but now things have calmed down some so I can get back to blogging!

Something that has been a central part of the King of Kings setting ever since I started working on it is aiming for, in addition to a kind of historical authenticity (a subject I might write more about in future!), a general accuracy of the flora and fauna to those that would have been living in the Iranian plateau and central Asia during late antiquity. I think so much of the distinctive vibe of a place and time can be communicated by the environment, and just as much as someone running a science fiction game might be interested in developing the alien biosphere, or a cyberpunk worldbuilder in describing what sorts of vermin flit about the concrete jungle, I am fascinated by discovering what sorts of animals lived in Iran in late antiquity and including them in my game and in my encounter tables.

So, this post is an example of that! Rather than just writing about this interest in authentic flora and fauna in a generic way, I figured it would be fun to hone in on a specific group of animals that I think highlight the incredible diversity of animalia in the pre-modern world, many species driven to extinction or to ever shrinking ranges due to human action: big cats!

I'm only providing stats for the ones that I think really need it, so big cats and cats used for hunting. Also, I'm pairing this post from Ben L. over at Mazirian's Garden with these wild carnivores; his animal terror grappling rules are one of my all-time favorite takes on this idea that I've seen anywhere! So check out his post too! It might also be a good idea to go check out my post about the geography of the Eastern Satrapies, since I mention a number of locations in this post.

The Persian/Anatolian/Caucasian Leopard
(I'll be noting the real world subspecies names in parentheses)

The Leopard (Persian Leopard, Anatolian Leopard, etc.), known in Shahanistani as Palang, is a mountain-dwelling pouncer that rests in the branches of looming juniper trees, to which it drags its prey, mountain goats and deer and smaller beasts. Its hide is a greyish or reddish color with dark rosettes scattered across, some leopards darker, some paler; its claws and teeth are curved knives that dive into flesh as if it were water, split with the prow of a boat. A male leopard claims sovereignty over a certain section of territory, and is joined by typically up to three females, and their cubs; unlike the glorious lion, King of All Beasts, the palang is jealous and vindictive, and will spar with any rivals who dare entreat on his territory.

Since even before the Deluge, the leopard has been a beast of terrible significance. Antediluvian statuary has washed up on muddy shores depicting long forgotten tyrant-queens on leopard thrones, and pallid shivering naked men brought before the palang as sacrifice. It is an omen of death and chaos, the very symbol of nature's uncaring grip on man. In the valleys of Elburz Satrapy, it is said that leopards appear before mudslides, floods, and terrible storms. The appearance of a palang's hide is a sign, among the Shahanistani sailors of Humakuyun-on-the-Sea, to avoid a seaborne trip; froglings, in their typical hubris, oft ignore this omen, confident in their fly-powered vessels. The leopard is the beastly mirror of the murderer; there are many folk tales of men driven mad by their vengeful killings of wives or sons who find themselves circled by leopards in the rugged wilds, keeping a distance out of respect for one of their own. Kings have slung leopard skins beneath their feet to symbolize victory against evil. The leopard is the favored beast of a drunkard god from a western island, now under the domain of the Gnostic Elves, who pull his sloshing carriage across land as the dolphin pull his dinghy across water. Thus,leopards can be tempted by wine.

Those bitten by a leopard are sought out by mice, who are urged by instinct to urinate on them. If one who has been bitten by a leopard is urinated on by a mouse, they will surely die; the only thing to certainly dispel the rodent is sumac blossom. 

The male Asiatic Lion

The Lion (Asiatic Lion), or Shir, is King of All Beasts, the mirror in the world of animals of the Shahanshah of the Enlightened Empire, or of Truth. He is beige or yellow-grey in color, with a mane cleaving close to his neck or, in the lioness, no mane at all, but commonly faint stripes on the limbs. They live in prides, the males in small groups of only up to three or four, the lionesses in much larger groups of up to twelve not including their cubs. Lionesses are fiercely protective of their cubs, and will fight much more ferociously if they see their cubs threatened or cornered. Despite their more righteous associations, lions are, like leopards, more active at twilight and in darkness, while they sleep during the day.

The lion is the other symbol of kingship, alongside the blessed Huma bird whose shadow bestows royalty. The personal standard of the Shahanshah is a lion and a sun on a purple field, fringed with gold and crimson; in times of strife, such as during the Mountain Uprising which established the Enlightened Empire, and during the Fifty Years' Crisis, the King of Kings has employed a simple lionskin hoisted on a pole as a standard. The killing of lions is heavily restricted; villages under the terrible shadow of a ravenous shir hunting their herds down to nothing must receive special license to catch and kill the beast. At the front of a mob of peasants and herdsmen marches a village headman holding aloft a scroll emblazoned with the satrap's seal; a hunter entrusted to track down a lioness wears the papyrus on her chest. The nomads of the western frontier, on the roiling border of the Neverending War with the Gnostic Elves, carve their headstones in the shapes of lions; it is said that they guard over the dead, and snap their jaws at those who dare attempt grave robbery. 

Lions are a common target of heretical revolutionary sects, who desecrate their bodies as a symbolic act of defiance. A cult hidden deep in the mountains of eastern Elburz has been known to butcher and eat lionflesh around a great fire in a ritual asserting the immortality of flame as against that of the king. The lion is a predatory beast that pounces on the weak, just as a noble dehqan pounces on the peasants; even some of the most orthodox prophets have called upon the rich to not behave as lions do, hungrily snatching at those most vulnerable. The lion is said to have been made by Deceit, but using a model created by Truth. This is the two-sided coin of the shir; righteous king on one side, slavering hunter on the other.

The Caspian/Hyrcanian/Persian/etc. Tiger

This leaves Tigers (Caspian Tiger, Hyrcanian Tiger, etc.), also known as the Babr, final among the three greatest of felines. They are the largest, strongest, and fiercest of cats, broad faced, broad shouldered, and stout. They lack the lion's mane, but instead have orange and black variegated stripes on their fur, each tiger completely individual in its stripe pattern. Lions and tigers respect each other and keep an arm's length when encountered; it is only especially cruel or rabid tigers that provoke lions into battle. Unlike the lion and leopard, the tiger is typically active during the day. They dwell in mountains, foothills, steppes, and coastlines, and while they tend to live solitary lives, they are not hostile to one another and will share their meals.

Learned scholars in the First City assert that the tigress is impregnated by the wind, from which the beast acquires its extraordinary quickness. It is second only to the cheetah for swiftness among the beasts, and it is believed that tying a length of tiger hide to an arrow makes it fly faster and truer. As such powerful and wild beasts, the babr is the subject of much struggle to capture, dominate, and kill. In the grand menageries of the Shahanshah in the First City, a number of portly tigers are kept in gilded cages, who have been rumored to be fed heretics and rebels by some of the especially cruel Kings of Kings. There were once grand gladiatorial games in the lands now ruled by the Gnostic Elves, which pitted ravenous tigers against pit-fighters for the entertainment of the crowds. The Gnostic Elves despise such excesses, and have cracked down on the practice; but the smuggling of eastern tigers still brings lucrative rewards. Amulets and artifacts made from the skin, teeth, claws, bones, and mummified limbs of the babr are vested with the natural qualities of the beast. There are tales of a sect of sorcerers that transform themselves into tigers and dwell in reedy marshes; and it is said that in the far north, in the Land of Darkness, there dwell giant tigers, pale white in place of vivid orange, with teeth that stab through metal as if it wasn't even there.

Big Cat (Lion, Tiger, Leopard)
Number Appearing: 1d4
Hit Dice: 5
Attacks: See below
Armor: as leather and shield
Morale: 9
Pounce: Big cats' preferred mode of attack is pouncing into a grapple with their victim. They receive a bonus of +3 (tiger, lion (+2 STR, +1 size)) or +2 (leopard (+2 STR)) to grappling rolls against human-sized opponents. When in a grapple, they deal 1d6+3 damage; if they fail to enter a grapple, they can attack twice in a turn, dealing 1d6+1 damage with each attack. Big cats can maul and are ferocious (see Ben's post above).

Leopards also drag. 

The Asiatic Cheetah

Leaving the great cats behind, there are three kinds of middling-sized cat tamed for hunting, each unique to a given territory. 

From south to north, first there is the Cheetah (Asiatic Cheetah), or Yoz, the favored hunting companion of kings and nobles. Its name in Shahanistani means "leap," for that is how it hunts; by chasing down its prey on its extraordinarily quick feet, before bringing down its quarry with "but a single bound," as a poet extolling its virtues once said. It is the fastest creature in the whole world, with tan-colored fur bedecked all over with black spots. The cheetah dwells in arid grasslands and sandy deserts; it was first tamed in the southern continent, although now hunters using cheetahs range as far north as the Kavir-e Bozorg. They are honorable beasts, and much poetry has been penned about them; the yoz is a very moral creature. There is a special saddle design oft used by members of the nobility with a second seat for a cheetah to accompany them on hunts. Subjects of the Gnostic Elves foolishly believe that cheetahs are the bastard offspring of a lion and a leopard, due to their appearance and the difficulty of their breeding in captivity. The yoz is a lucrative item for trade with the Empire of the Great East; their princes and emperors are fascinated by these hunting cats from distant lands.

Cheetah
Number Appearing: 1d6
Hit Dice: 2+1
Attacks: See below
Armor: as leather and shield
Morale: 8
Swiftness: Cheetahs are the fastest of beasts. They have advantage on opposed rolls for chases and on initiative rolls.
Pounce: The cheetah's preferred mode of attack is to chase their quarry before pouncing on them. They receive a bonus of +1 (+1 STR) to all grappling rolls. When in a grapple, they deal 1d6+1 damage. Cheetahs can maul and drag (see Ben's post). 

The Caracal, or Siahgush

Then, in similar arid regions as the cheetah, there is the Caracal, or Siahgush, meaning "black-eared" in Shahanistani. It is of reddish hue, with a handsome face and tall black-tipped ears. This hunting cat is smaller than the cheetah, and is thus more suited to hunting hares and birds; as a result, it is less favored by the nobility, who are most interested in big game, and is instead the hunting cat of choice of bazaaris and the better off peasants. The fur of the siahgush is amazingly soft, oft used for the lining of coats; less expensive than sables from the Land of Darkness, but still rich in quality. The caracal is also known as "the herald of the lion," for it travels before a lion on the prowl, alerting the other beasts of the king's coming. Then, after the lion's attack, the siahgush feasts on the remains, safe in the knowledge that the lion is sated. Thus, the caracal is depicted as the greedy courtier to the lion's kingdom, at once fearful of the sovereign's wrath and reliant on his generosity. A caracal crossing one's path is a sure sign that lions are nearby. 

Two Caucasian Lynxes

In the mountainous north of the Enlightened Empire, in the forested hills surrounding The Conqueror's Wall and the coastal lowlands south of the Sea of Giants, there dwell Lynxes (Caucasian Lynx), also known as the Vashaq, the favored hunting cat of the Land of Darkness. They are larger than the caracal, but with smaller ears and shorter tails, a mottled grey and brown with scattered black spots. Their paws are large and cushioned, making traversing snow easier. Northerners traditionally tame them for hunting similarly to the cheetah and caracal. The sacred order which presides over the Conqueror's Wall keeps 200 lynxes for hunting small game to supply their food. It is said that barbarians in the Land of Darkness, beyond the wall and mountains, don't even keep dogs, instead hunting exclusively with the vashaq. A far northern goddess of love, war, and sorcery rides a chariot pulled by lynxes through the snowy twilit forests; even those barbarians not in the tribes she presides over are wary of killing lynxes or blaspheming in their presence, worrying that they will report back to her. The pelt of the vashaq is soft, warm, and has especial properties: wearing it inspires sexual desire and virility and holds off hemorrhoids and similar illness. Burning lynx hair can heal festering wounds. Lynx urine crystallizes into an amber-like gemstone termed a lynx stone, which cures jaundice and other diseases of the kidney, and when rubbed against cloth has an attractive power on many substances.

Caracal/Lynx
Number Appearing: 1d4
Hit Dice: 1+1
Attacks: 2 claw (1d4)
Armor: as leather
Morale: 7
Pounce: Caracals and lynxes' preferred mode of attack is pouncing; however, due to their size, they cannot meaningfully grapple with human-sized opponents. Do you really want to have to roll for a caracal grappling with a duck?

A Sand Cat

A Steppe Cat (Asiatic Wildcat)

A Jungle Cat

Then there are the four kinds of least cats. Three are of similar size and appearance to the cat kept as a pet: the Jungle Cat, Sand Cat, and Steppe Cat (Asiatic Wildcat). Each of these types of cat are solitary hunters that tend to keep a wide berth from towns and villages; thus, they are more often encountered as surprise omens by travelers than beasts sought out for their fur or hunting capability. The jungle cat is widespread in marshy and riverine environments; they are especially notable in the Hinterbog on the edge of Elburz Satrapy and in the lake country of Numistan. Travellers across the Hinterbog must always remember to leave gifts for the jungle cats, for some among their number are jinn in disguise. The bite of the jungle cat is liable to fester and rot more readily than that of other felines. Sand cats are the most elusive cat of them all, small tan-colored things that crawl through the driest depths of the Kavir-e Bozorg, so rare that even most desert-dwellers have never seen one. They are active only at night, and leave small faint footprints where they walk. They often nap in the shade of ancient ruins, to which a traveller can furtively follow them for treasure. The steppe cat is the furtive companion of travellers along the routes between the Enlightened Empire and the Empire of the Great East, dashing in and out of view in its shyness. The Southern Dog-Headed Men despise steppe cats, putting their skins as tassels on their spears and banners.

This is my favorite pallas cat picture

And, finally, there is the strangest cat of them all: the Manul (Pallas' Cat). This most secretive of cats ranges across mountains from the Elburz range north of the Kavir-e Bozorg east through Numistan and into even more arid and wintry plateaus, from whence whispers of fabled Kadath emerge. They are small in size by covered all over with an excessively fluffy coat, giving them a rotund and soft appearance. Their faces are incredibly expressive, and they have qualities in sympathy with humanity that have led some to say that they are the ghosts of mountaineers who perished in avalanches or froze solid from frigid winds. The distinctive image of the eastern mountains is the frostbitten corpse with a manul curled up in its lap. Their coats are so pillowy soft that they are sometimes termed the "eastern sable," so valuable and rich their rare hides are. The hurdle to acquiring sable furs is the great distance and danger in venturing into the Lands of Darkness; the difficulty in hunting the manul is solely their secrecy, for they hide in shadows and snowbanks and are only very rarely seen in person.

And, for those curious, here are some of the sources I used for inspiration when writing this post!
Encyclopaedia Iranica (especially their pages on Mammals of Iran, Afghanistan, and Central Asia, on The Classification of Mammals and Other Animal Classes According to Zoroastrian Tradition, on the Caracal (this page is especially of interest because it includes direct citations from medieval Iranian treatises on hunting cats!), and on Lion Tombstones.
The Ultimate Ambition in the Arts of Erudition by Shihab al-Din al-Nuwayri (Penguin edition)
The Natural History of Pliny the Elder
The Medieval Bestiary: Animals in the Middle Ages (A really fantastic resource in general! Gathers all sorts of information from several medieval European bestiaries in one digital location!)
And, to be completely honest, also Wikipedia.

King of Kings Session 15 After Action Report

Been too long since my last post, and even longer since the last session report! Had the first King of Kings session in a full year like a month ago, but kept on putting off writing the after action report until now. Gonna get back to posting more regularly soon hopefully!

A bit of a shorter expedition this time, while we were getting back into the swing of things; trying to get back into running a game after a year's absence is kinda hard!

Dramatis Personae
Coro the Esoterian, level one magic-user
Ishthyromeda the Small, level one amazon
Manchugo Coldeswain, level one cleric dedicated to Damir, foreign god of the trade routes
and Parsani, scrawny son of a rural matriarch
...and quite a few hirelings! 9 in total, 6 of which were thugs from the streets of Tabur, one of which was a light-bearer boy, another a girl from the dye works of Tabur, and another which was the most pious street beggar Manchugo could find

Yeah, the party decided to shell out for hirelings for the first time! This made the decision making calculus a bit different, though I think the full impact won't be seen until later sessions.

So after spending probably too long figuring out hirelings and resupply (I'll need to figure out some way to streamline that), the party went off to the abandoned farmstead beneath which they found, at the last session, a massive subterranean structure spiraling down into the earth. In addition to the new hirelings, they brought with them three pounds of salt, in preparation to confront the giant slug that blocked their path one week previous.

(Unfortunately not very long after getting to the depths, Ish's player had a bad headache and had to leave, so it was decided that Ishthyromeda and Parsani would stay guard at the group's wagon aboveground while the rest delved.)

First, they kept an eye out for the aforementioned giant slug, in roughly thirty minutes coming upon the very spot where the mollusk lay across the slick algal-coated stone causeway. There was no slug in sight, however, only a wide swash of faintly yellow slime on the wall that goes up the wall and then turns around; presumably the slug descended down from where it was previously. 

Trilobites!

About another half hour later, slowly shuffling as a mass down the slimy walkway, the group heard an arthropoid chittering up ahead. Inching forward, the light of their torches revealed a pile of 13 trilobites! None of them had ever seen such strange bugs before, eyeless and mostly flat, tendrils flailing in the air. The things at first showed no interest in the group, but were attracted to the warmth of their torches as they approached. Coro lit a candle and threw it to the ground to distract them, while gesturing to the mercenaries and city youths to crawl around the arthropods single file, careful not to disturb them. It takes some time, but they ultimately are able to get around them.

Another twenty or thirty minutes later, having lost a few torches sputtering in the dark and forced to light new ones, they came across a square open tunnel in the wall of the structure. Before going in, Manchugo dropped an iron spike down the open side of the slimy walkway, to try and estimate how far down the bottom of the structure was. He only heard a distant wet splash after a full 45 seconds.

They then ventured into the square tunnel, flanked on either side by ancient metal doors with strange looking locks on them. The tunnel eventually made a hard turn to the right, right next to a door rusted off its hinges and with an insectile chittering behind it. Our adventurers decided to not deal with whatever was behind that door and ventured on, inspecting some of the metallic doors and finding little inside them but small dusty cells. Right before another right turn in the tunnel, they came across another door, this time with a wet burbling noise crawling out from within. As they approach the burbling room, they see a pitch black ooze clinging to the walls and filling up the floor in the little chamber, pushing the door out at its hinges, which immediately made them want to leave, despite the glittering emeralds revealed by the flickering torchlight that the slime recedes from. They were only able to force the door shut with the help of several of their hired thugs. 

The very sketchy map of this tunnel I drew since there was some confusion while describing it. The starred cell is the one with the insectile chirping, the crescent moon cell is the one with the burbling slime.

And that's where the session ended! Like I said, not a whole lot (which makes it doubly bad that it took me this long to finish writing this augh), but I'm just glad to have gotten back to King of Kings! The next session will open up in media res in the dungeon, picking up where we left off right after the second right turn in this tunnel.

Goin' Through the Fiend Folio Part 13 (Penanggalan to Qullan)

Been way too long on this! But, before we begin, I have to recognize a person very important to me, to Old School D&D, and to the Fiend Folio: Russ Nicholson.

Russ Nicholson, whose illustrations populate much of the Fiend Folio, passed away on May 10, 2023. His grotty, incredibly detailed art style is one of the most defining aesthetics in my mind for old school D&D, along with other great artists like Erol Otus, and more specifically an evocation of the messier, darker, more cynical, British approach to fantasy (he contributed art to Warhammer too!). Nicholson was active in making art for roleplaying games just about up to his passing, including Dungeon Crawl Classics, Old School Essentials, and Through Ultan's Door. The Fiend Folio was, I believe, my first exposure to Russ Nicholson's art, and the Fiend Folio was one of the first AD&D books I ever had; Nicholson's art was one of the major reasons I got so into old school D&D, a visual aesthetic that spoke to me and grabbed me. I think Nicholson has to be given credit for getting a lot of people into old school D&D, or at least contributing to the image and aesthetic of going on an adventure into a decrepit dungeon with strange monsters. Rest In Peace to Russ Nicholson, we've lost a truly great artist and contributor to D&D and other roleplaying games.

A great example of art by Russ Nicholson!

Penanggalan

★★☆☆☆

The penanggalan is a longtime personal favorite monster of mine, ever since I first found out about it from a now ancient article on Bogleech.com! The image of a pale woman's head flying through the sky, entrails hanging down below, sucking blood and killing children through the thatched roofs of houses is just the best, and the idea of it being a normal woman during the day and leaving her body behind at night provides a fantastic narrative and seed for adventure. Malay vampires (and really Malay folklore monsters in general) are really cool, I might make some posts statting some more up. But uh... does this need a full page and a half of description??? This is, unfortunately, probably the most unwieldy and long monster description for any AD&D monster. A PAGE AND A HALF!! I do not think that the specifics of whether the penanggalan was a cleric when she was alive, or what a know alignment spell will do when cast on it, or the feeblemind effect of seeing the transformation from human woman to flying undead head, or the slow and steady effect of the penanggalan's feeding, its hypnosis, etc etc etc, none of that is necessary in this amount of detail. The penanggalan as written is an adventure in and of itself, a specific narrative arc that progresses from it selecting a victim to the victim's death and aftermath, and there's barely any deviation from that path other than "the party figures out its a penanggalan and fights and kills it OR finds the body and kills it." I can't believe the Fiend Folio, otherwise a great monster book, completely ruined one of the world's greatest folkloric creatures by making it a damn railroad. This is a 5/5 monster brought down to 2/5 by how awful the implementation is. Just cleave close to the folklore and keep it simple!!! That's all I ask!!

More Russ!

Pernicon

★★★★☆

Now THIS is a great and well implemented monster! A large, grasshopper like insect that dwells in deserts, prized for its water divining antennae but dangerous because of its deathgrip pincers. Sweet, simple, and effective. I think giving an animalistic monster some body part that is prized or valuable, whether monetarily or for a directly applicable use, is one of the best ways to make an otherwise mundane animal relevant to the players, and the pernicon's water divining antennae are a great example of the latter. Its antennae vibrate and give off a low hum when within 120 feet of water; very useful in a desert, especially if you're actually going to make water matter to the player characters! The pincers are also delightfully terrible, only dealing 3 points of damage but also taking a point of constitution from "drain[ing] the water and other body fluids from the victim,"; AND this repeats every round! The pernicon's pincers don't just let up, even after the victim dies it will continue to grip, and forcibly removing it will only deal an additional 1d4 damage. That might not sound like much, but these guys are encountered in numbers of 4 to 40! Nasty, but reasonably so! Also, interestingly enough, they are listed as semi intelligent, and the delightfully rendered Russ Nicholson illustration has its hand raised as if it were giving a speech; the description doesn't really describe them as intelligent, but that could be an interesting angle to take.

Phantom Stalker

★★☆☆☆

Not really that interesting. Basically just a weird summonable fire elemental that serves the summoner and, when the summoner is killed, disappears only to reappear "intent on vengeance" 1d4 hours later. They can shapeshift, are immune to fire and weak to cold, deal fire damage, yadda yadda. Nothing super notable. I like how the illustration makes them look like a kind of weird B movie monster, though. Very rubber suit esque. The description only calls their typical form a "reddish, 8' tall humanoid with huge fiery eyes," so I'm glad the illustrator went in this more alien direction.

Poltergeist

★★★☆☆

Very basic, but very effective. Yet another type of ghost (it's almost comical how AD&D statted up every synonym for "ghost" as a completely separate monster—ghost, specter, apparition, etc etc etc), but in this case it feels more earned since a poltergeist is such a specific image: an invisible ghost that can only act on the physical environment, throwing objects around. That the Folio poltergeist can't even deal damage with its thrown objects is kinda funny; all a successful hit does is cause a fear effect that makes the target flee, with a chance of dropping objects they are holding. I like fear effects and effects that force the PC to flee, they're fun. Otherwise, just another incorporeal undead; but does it need to be much more? A poltergeist can just be an immaterial force that throws stuff around! I think I might not stat it up though, treat it more like a room hazard; giving it HP feels kind of wrong.

Protein Polymorph

★★★☆☆

What a name!!! This hearkens back, to me at least, to some of the more sci-fi inspirations to early D&D; a "protein polymorph" feels like something that could have appeared in an episode of Star Trek or something. But what actually is it? Well, its a colonial organism made up of intelligent single cells that can take on the appearance of anything, including inanimate objects, living beings, even Groups of living beings (its described as joining these independent bodies together by a near invisible cord or film of protoplasm which is just so cool). So, it's a weirder doppelgänger with a wider range of transformative abilities. Not the most distinct niche for a monster, given the whole slew of other imitation creatures that already exist in D&D, but I think the weird colonial single celled organism angle and its ability to imitate groups of living creatures make it a bit more interesting. Also, it can't imitate noises nor accurately recreate facial expressions, which provides a much clearer way to identify whether something is an imitation; I always wonder how the hell you're supposed to figure out a doppelgänger is a doppelgänger. Really, I kinda think this is just a 2/5 creature, but it being a slime mold and the ability to imitate a group of creatures connected by a film of protoplasm bumps it up a star for me. I'm a sucker for a gooey guy.

Quaggoth

★☆☆☆☆

Kinda mid. Yet another tribal humanoid monster that dwells underground, except this time they are mysterious pale shaggy humanoids that uh... wait a minute, why not just use white apes? Yeah, literally just use white apes. These guys are just apemen except no they're not apemen they're like, weird little eared bear men, murderous care bear types. They have leaders, they wield axes and swords, they berserk when they reach a certain HP threshold (that part is at least kind of interesting I guess), and they hate surface dwelling elves and... become slaves of the drow to assist in their war on elves? That's really weird. Why wouldn't they just be allies of the dark elves? Why slaves? That feels weird, justifying themselves... enslaving themselves to the dark elves? Weird. I would just use like, white ape men or something.

Quipper

★☆☆☆☆

These are cold water piranhas. The description even explicitly calls them that. They are bloodthirsty and swarm ravenously if blood is spilt, up to twenty can attack a human sized target at once and it has an... incredibly cumbersome way to handle that. At first I thought it was pretty interesting, since it involved rolling a percentile die to see how many even attempt to attack, but as it turns out you still end up needing to roll an individual attack roll for every single damn fish. That's so stupid. By the way, did you know piranhas don't really do the whole "swarm uncontrollably if even a bit of blood is spilt in the water" thing? Piranhas don't actually devour large animals like humans, cows, etc to the bone under normal circumstances. That myth originated in a piranha attack coordinated by Brazilian fishermen when Theodore Roosevelt visited the country on a hunting trip in 1913 (they blocked off parts of the river and didn't feed them for a very long time so that they would be desperate for meat when they threw a cow into the water) and he wrote about it in a book that he published the next year, popularizing the image of the piranha as a killer fish for American audiences. Having a killer fish is valuable for a D&D bestiary, of course, but this implementation is boring.

Unfortunately also a Russ Nicholson... they can't all be winners

Qullan

★★☆☆☆

Uh oh!! Uh oh!!! This one looks really racist! A "seemingly insane" race of humanoids that just so happen to... wear animal skins and warpaint? Very unfortunate! I think this, along with the quaggoth, is another great example of the unnecessary inflation of different humanoid types in AD&D; when you get down to it, this is just a pretty overtly weirdly racist humanoid monster. Well, with the exception of its Two Kind Of Interesting Ideas. So, Qullans exude an aura of confusion that causes all attempts at communication and interchange between them and other intelligent peoples to fail; I fear that this is just a weird justification for unquestionable violence directed toward them, but I can't help but find the idea of a whole group of people cursed to supernaturally confuse those around them just interesting! Maybe that supernatural confusion is the cause of their seeming "insanity"? Also, they have swords that are so sharp that they deal +3 damage and have +3 to hit, and if someone manages to get one of these swords the bonuses sticks around... until the sword gets blunted, and unfortunately due to the confusion effect ruining all attempts at communication, nobody knows how they keep their swords so sharp. That's kinda cool actually! Very intriguing! I generally think that making bonuses be from nonmagical stuff is pretty cool, to keep magic sticking to the really genuinely weird stuff, and connecting this mysterious sharpness to their confusion effect makes it all feel very tight conceptually. Too bad its uh, really weird and unnecessary otherwise. This is really a 1/5 monster, but the combination of the confusion effect and the super sharp swords nets it another sword; I'm just more likely to steal those ideas for something else than use this monster as is.