Goin' Through the Fiend Folio Part 17 (FINAL!!! Umpleby to Yellow Musk Creeper)

It is time... the FINAL part of the unnecessarily long-running Fiend Folio saga on this here blog! Won't take too much time here, check out the first entry in this series, and here's a link to the most recent!

 

Umpleby

★★★☆☆

The umpleby is a real weirdo, and I know that's saying something with Fiend Folio monsters! An 8 foot tall hairy humanoid that will ally with anyone that gives it food, drink, and treasure (it loves precious metals and gems, for some reason), and with two hyper-specific powers: it is able to discharge strong static electricity, and it ties knotted nets out of its own fur that it stores around its waist (which aren't electric at all, seemingly). I really like the idea of a static electricity hair monster! For every day, the umpleby has 50 points of damage that it can distribute among the static attacks it makes as it pleases. This resets to 50 whenever it rests; I'd like to think that they have to rub themselves on something to get the static charge back up. The umpleby demanding a cut of treasure (on top of food and water) does prompt the question (on the part of the players) of how long you want to keep it around, if its electrical power and nets and (presumably) knowledge of the dungeon is so good but it means you take less treasure. I just struggle to really understand the point of the umpleby's treasure fascination otherwise, it isn't really described. Is it like a magpie-style fixation on shiny things that they take back to a nest?

 

The umpleby first appeared in the Fiend Factory column, and with a much more dramatic illustration. The description is similar, although it notes that umplebies are of low intelligence (also noted in the Folio description), but are "swift and calculating" when it comes to treasure. Also, the Factory umpleby with accompany an adventuring party whether they want it to or not. A much more unwanted presence, this version of the umpleby! The Factory umpleby also has a lair which it stores treasure in (answering at least some of the unaddressed questions from the Folio version), the location of which it will never reveal unless charm monster is cast on it; even when threatened with death, the umpleby will only... giggle. Don Turnbull's description says that the "travelling companion" type of monster was apparently becoming very popular, although this is the first time I've encountered it. Turnbull liked it more than Little Old Men and LOLITS (little old lady in tennis shoes) which... sure are specific images to refer to!

 

For some reason, a version of the umpleby illustration without a net was used later in the Fiend Factory as the illustration for a completely unrelated monster, the Time Freezer, whose powers you can probably guess.

 

Urchin

★☆☆☆☆

Not gonna lie, this whole time I was under the impression that the urchins in the Fiend Folio were literal sea urchins, and they do look like normal sea urchins, but they are actually urchin-like predatory monsters that shoot spines as ranged weapons and have precious gems inside of them. There are five different colors of urchin that increase in deadliness and gem value as you go up. IDK, I want to like urchins with mysterious gems inside of them but this just feels more video gamey and less interesting than IRL sea urchins. Sea urchins are fascinating animals!! And anyway, sea urchin eggs are a delicacy in Japan and other places so why not just make the treasure that nice slimy yellow stuff instead of mystery gems.

 

I didn't want to take a picture of the whole (unnecessarily long) stat block, so here's just the fun title font that they used in the Fiend Factory

Urchins also were first featured in the Fiend Factory, in an identical form. At the very least, the description is mercifully short. Don Turnbull notes that the guy who submitted them should hopefully realize that the silver urchin is an incredibly difficult and dangerous beast for players to have to deal with!

 

Vision

★★☆☆☆

The creation of a high-level illusionist gone wrong, the vision is a being that looks like a shadow (which, well, there's already a monster called a shadow, so why this needed to Also exist is beyond me), and which doesn't attack physically but rather makes characters (on a failed 3d6+3 vs INT roll) believe that they have aged ten years! EGAD!! To be completely honest, I actually love that power, and I almost wish the shadow already had it to begin with. I don't think a vision can kill you in any way though? You don't keep aging until you believe you're dead and then keel over, no end point is described other than the effect dissipating if the vision is killed (which is only possible through the use of silver, magical weapons, or certain cleric or illusionist spells). Really, this is a 1 star monster, but I like the power enough to bump it up, just wish it was done more interestingly.

 

Vodyanoi

★★☆☆☆

Vodyanoi, or wodniki, or a bunch of different names, are Slavic water spirits that appear in the folklore of a bunch of different eastern European countries (vodyanoi is the name in Russia, while wodnik is the name in Poland). Here, for some reason, they are rendered as slimy aquatic relatives of the umber hulk. I don't really understand why they did this? Mechanically they are uninteresting; big hefty brutes that have multiple hard-hitting attacks. Their only mildly interesting power is being able to summon 1d20 electrical eels once per day... but only with a 50% chance of success. Boooooo, just let them summon the eels goddammit!! I loooooove the Russ Nicholson illustration, it is an incredibly iconic and nasty looking fish-man with pincers around the mouth, but vodyanoii could have been so much more interestingly. Just like the vision, gets an extra star, in this case for the drawing.

 

Volt

★★★★☆

Here we go!! While not one of the most iconic weirdies in the Folio, the volt is a pretty nasty little bugger that I just love the vibe of. A shaggy grey ball with two big bulbous eyes, a mouth full of fangs, and a long sinewy tail tipped with an electricity-producing organ! ...What's with the electrical creatures toward the end of the Folio? Anyway, the volt attaches to the neck of its victim and sucks their blood while simultaneously striking the victim's head with a jolt of electricity from its tail. It doesn't even need an attack roll once its attached! One of the two illustrations for the volt features the tail shocking a helmeted warrior, which brings to mind whether wearing a helmet would actually make the attack worse (since it would be, presumably, made of metal), but that isn't touched on in the description. I just love how terrible this thing is!

 

The volt is also our next Fiend Factory original! These last several monsters sure have a high density of Factory features! The Factory volt is more or less the same, with simpler wording than the version in the Folio. In his comments, Don Turnbull compares the volt to stirges (another favorite classic D&D monster!!) in terms of being a useful low-level enemy, albeit in this case with a fun electrical theme, and also notes that one strategy to fighting a volt could be having someone in the party grab onto the tail (with a "heavily-gloved hand") while the others hack away at the head latched onto the victim's neck. I also just like the delightfully scuzzy illustration it has in the Factory column :)

 

Vortex

★★★★☆

A pretty interesting take on an air elemental, the vortex is what it says on the tin: a living whirlwind that can catch a poor victim in its gusts and spin them around until they die. The vortex only deals a small amount of damage per turn to the guy caught in it, with the sole exception of the growing change (+5% each round) of the speed of rotation growing so quickly that the victim dies instantly. The vortex's real form is a small grapefruit-sized sphere that bobs and weaves around the center of the whirlwind, and which is very hard to hit; plus, it cannot be killed by the person caught inside of it, only by someone outside. This is honestly way more interesting than the normal air elemental! I'd be much more inclined to include vortices in my game than the vague cloud-creatures that usually pass for air monsters. 

 

In Fiend Factory, the vortex is instead called the WHIRLER, which is a much more fun and whimsical name. The second sentence in the whirler's description notes that "it has a deep hatred for human-kind," which is always good to see. The description doesn't mention the little grapefruit-sized true body like the one in the Folio does, but otherwise it is pretty much the same. Don Turnbull says it would be very fun to require players attempting to attack the whirler while a buddy is caught inside be very careful with their rolls lest they hit their companion! "Characters with dexterity lower than 13 need not apply..."

Whipweed

★★★☆☆

A plant-like (but not a plant, which the description basically wastes an entire paragraph to note) monster that has a central spheroid body with eight small legs and roots as well as two long thin whip-like stalks. They dwell underground and don't photosynthesize, instead absorbing nutrients from meat through their roots. This is honestly pretty basic for a mobile carnivorous plant (despite the description claiming otherwise). Nothing super notable mechanically other than the whipweed not dying until the central body is killed (because it can regrow its stalks). I think the idea of a mobile subterranean plant-monster is really cool, but it isn't executed especially interestingly here.

 

Also going by a slightly different name, the Fiend Factory's "Whipper" is... wait a minute, in the Fiend Factory, whipweeds literally are plants! The opening sentence even notes that they are susceptible to spells like control plants! What gives! Anyway, as is the running theme with comparisons between the Factory and the Folio, the version in the Factory is a much leaner, simpler, more effective version of the monster, in terms of mechanical implementation. The illustration is fantastically weird looking, with the two whip-like tendrils twisted and covered with leaves, while the main body down below has a toothsome maw. If this illustration was in the Folio (unfortunately the Folio whipweed doesn't even have an illustration), I would have given it four stars, maybe even five. The vibe communicated by this drawing is so unwholesome.

 

Witherstench

★★★☆☆

Did we need a mangy mostly hairless skunk-relative that constantly emits a foul-smelling odor that all within a certain radius need to save vs. or vomit uncontrollably and leave themselves helpless to attack? Perhaps not... However, I am very glad that we have it anyway :) I always love uncontrollable vomit effects, its such a particularly nasty way to make a character unable to attack/act. Otherwise, nothing super notable about this guy.

 

The witherstench also was a Fiend Factory original! There really are a lot of those this time around, which I guess is only fitting. The description is literally three sentences long. I'll include the whole thing in the screenshot from the PDF. The illustration looks much more like an actual skunk than the mangy squirrel-thing in the Folio. Don Turnbull notes some confusion about the radius of the stink effect, since it is unspecified (I honestly really like that they reprinted people's monsters with no real editing, makes this a much clearer look into the world of late 70s British D&D nerds than if there was more editorial oversight), but also says that it makes for a useful wandering monster, since presumably its lair would be so smelly that nobody would even want to go in without a gas mask!

 

Witherweed

★★★★☆

Another plant-thing, and this one I personally find much more interesting than the whipweed. Immobile, the witherweed grows in big patches (20 sq ft on average but sometimes larger), with 13-24 flailing fronds that, upon a touch, cause the victim to begin to wither into nothing, draining 1d4 points of DEX per attack. If 4 points are drained in a single attack, the victim suffers a nervous seizure for 2 rounds and then has a penalty to their attacks for 5 rounds even after coming to! Holy shit?? A dry pallid plant with flailing fronds that sap dexterity and cause seizures is so specific and messed up. On top of this, the easy answer of just burning the thing presents its own problems; while the fronds won't be able to attack, it does produce a toxic, oily smoke that can only be dissipated by a strong wind (a strong wind which, of course, wouldn't exist in a dungeon!) or by waiting four hours. Breathing in this smoke is a save or die effect, which I do find a bit cheap, but I like how even the obvious way of countering the witherweed presents its own problems. This thing is a fantastical plant that still feels like a plant, and I really appreciate that!

 

The witherweed is also from the Fiend Factory column! The description there is pretty much identical to the one in the Folio, but (again) much simpler with its explanation of what actually matters about the monster (it squeezes the physical description, the effects of burning it, and how its DEX-draining/seizure-inducing attack works into one paragraph where the Folio has four). Turnbull says smart players will avoid burning it but instead hack it to pieces so they can take bits of it with them to burn strategically and make monsters throw up, which is a great suggestion!

 

Xill
★★☆☆☆

I want to like the xill, I really do. The illustration is so good, with the weird glassy eyes, four arms, and horns and frills that make it feel like something out of a Frank Frazetta cover for one of the Barsoom novels. However, ultimately, it is basically the same thing as the assassin bug, and you know I have to go to bat for the bug person version. Both the xill and the assassin bug are parasitoids, having to lay their eggs inside a human host for it to gestate; however, unlike the assassin bug, xills are asexual, laying their own eggs with no need for sexual reproduction, and they dwell on the ethereal plane. That, and the xill being listed as "very" intelligent (but I always like to think of assassin bugs as smarter than they're given credit for in the Folio anyway), are the only real differences. Well, that and the xill's description being wayyyyyy too elaborate and long-winded in describing how it snatches up a human host to lay eggs in, how grappling with a four-armed xill works, how their subduing attacks work, etc. It's just too much!! I kept switching between 3 and 2 stars while writing this, but I think ultimately the combination of how unwieldy it is mechanically with the fact that the assassin bug does its thing much better offset how cool I find the illo.

 

I don't even really like this illustration...

Xvart

★☆☆☆☆

Dude we do NOT need yet another race of goblin-like diminutive humanoids. The description for the xvart even says they are "mediary" between kobolds and goblins, like oh my godddddd. I love goblin-types as much as the next gal, but I think the real running theme of this series has to be "okay guys we have enough of them," or at the very least actually make them interesting like the forlarren or the meazel. Xvarts are just gnome lookin' guys with oversized heads that wield small swords or other weapons, some of them have nets, and they sometimes have giant rats and wererats allied with them. They don't even have the rat thing unique to them, the jermlaine already has a rat motif going on. This sucks.

 

Oh god why did this one have to also be from the Fiend Factory column. There, the xvart is instead called a svart, which is a much better name solely on the basis of pronounceability. Also, their head is much more proportional in the accompanying illustration, for some reason. Y'know, now that I think about it, neither of these descriptions mention an oversized head... what is up with the illustration in the Fiend Folio? The description here is very similar, except that the Factory svart apparently despises hobbits, and apparently hobbits like to capture svarts and kobolds and make them fight wait what?? That's an insane little detail to just drop in there. Anyway, apparently these guys (svarts, that is, not xvarts) are taken from a book I haven't heard of before, The Weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan Garner. Might have to check that one out, I can't help but think I will be much more charitable to a race of little people in a weird fairy-inflected fantasy novel than in D&D.

 

Yellow Musk Creeper (and Zombie, Yellow Musk)

★★★★★

But hey, at least we're ending on a high note!!! Woooooo!! Yellow musk creeper!! I hope its fine to review these two together, since the one is entirely dependent on the other. And, since this is our third plant in this post alone, I guess the real running theme of the end of the Fiend Folio is plants! I'm not even certain there are any other plants in the Folio! There's the algoid and the kelpie, but algae/kelp isn't actually plants (though that is definitely being very nitpicky hehe). Anywho, the yellow musk creeper is a classic and very effective type of monster, a mind-controlling plant. I feel like these days, the niche of mind control/zombification has been taken over by cordyceps-inspired fungi, at least when it isn't some kind of virus or parasitic worm I guess. When a victim gets close enough, the yellow musk creeper puffs a bit of musk-scented dust into their face that brings them into a hypnotic trance, during which they wander deeper into the plant's large structure, so that the creeper can insert roots into their brain. A really haunting visual! This drains points of INT every round, and if your INT gets low enough, you are brought completely under the yellow musk creeper's control and become a yellow musk zombie (which aren't actually undead since they are like, semi-alive, and thus cannot be turned by clerics, but because they are under the control of a plant which is also immune to mind-altering effects they cannot be affected by charm, hold person, etc). The only way to actually defeat a yellow musk creeper is to destroy the bulb buried in the ground beneath the plant, which makes the combat so much more interesting. You don't just have to slice away at the thing or defeat its thralls, you also have to take out a shovel and dig as fast as you can and hope you get to the bulb before your friend becomes a zombie! I also like the small note that yellow musk creepers are often deliberately planted in certain areas to "guard" something. There should honestly be more deliberately planted weaponized plants! Even the witherweed was assumed to just grow naturally in dungeons. I'd love to supplement an evil overlord's lair with a deadly garden!

 

And with that, the Goin' Through the Fiend Folio series comes to a close! But don't fret! Or, well, I doubt you're fretting, but anyway: this won't be the last you see me reviewing monsters on this here blog! After I put together a masterpost linking to all of the Fiend Folio reviews, I intend on making a follow-up going through various monsters from the Fiend Factory column in White Dwarf that didn't make it into the Fiend Folio. Because, for all the unwarranted weird reputation that the Folio has, a lot of real fascinating weirdos didn't quite make the cut! So, keep an eye out for that!