Friday, October 31, 2025

Half-Sunk Chateau of the Vampire Squid (A Small Dungeon for HALLOWEEN)

FUCK IT DOUBLE TRACK DRIFTING, BACK TO BACK HALLOWEEN POSTS, HALLOWEEN FOREVER HAPPY HALLOWEEN

This is a little dungeon that I originally started writing like a full year ago but never finished. Figured this was as good a time as any to work on it some more and put it out there!

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A small abandoned manse, the ground on which it sits slowly sloughing off into the sea. Its foyer is inhabited by the ancient vampire squid Sosteiromachus, with his henchmen and familiars holding the upper floors. Sosteiromachus slips out of the chateau under cover of night, to slurp the blood out of fishermen and skinny dippers, leaving row upon row of pierced holes on their drained skin.
 

Map Key
D: Old dining chamber, beautiful ornate silver dining set (worth 600 gold) arrayed on table -- 2-in-6 chance of hermit-man presence.
 
K: Half-flooded kitchen, dumbwaiter connects to W (wine/brine cellar).
 
F: Main flooded foyer area. There is a 3-in-6 chance that Sosteiromachus is in the flooded portion, 100% chance at day. The bodies of Sosteiromachus' victims float, some with jewelry worth 200 gold on their necks and wrists. The rafters are teeming with bloodthirsty doves that swarm when agitated, while the ragged rug-shewn seating area is ensnared with thin strands of hagfish mucus (if tripped, they act as wires, loudly knocking over furniture).
 
C: Half-flooded cave. Home to crabs and lampreys. Provides access to the foyer, via an underwater passage.
 
W: Wine/brine cellar. Barrels and bottles float in the waist-deep water. Each bottle is a rich vintage, worth 100 gold, with 18 such bottles bobbing there.
 
T: Turret. The creaking of the steps on the spiral staircase can alert the hermit-men that nest on the roof.
 
R: Roof. Open-air hovel of Sosteiromachus' hermit-man servants. There are 16 crustacean men that huddle together on the roof. They sleep on ragged mats and build statues of their master out of mud and seashells. There is a single such idol of Sosteiromachus with a golden cameo locket for an eye, worth 300 gold (and with the face of a woman whose body decays in the foyer inside it).
 
Wandering Monsters
Roll 1d6:
1-2: 1d8 Hermit-men
4-5: Swarm of bloodthirsty doves
6: Intruding otters
 
Monster Stats
 

Hermit-Man
Number Encountered: 1d8
HD: 1+1
Attack: 1 claw (1d6) + 1 cutlery (1d4)
Armor: as chain + shield
Morale: 7
Under Sosteiromachus' thrall. Hunched, Igor-like manservant mutants uncannily merged with hermit crabs. Under the light of a full moon, they perform a ritual where they form a line and "size up" their giant mollusk shells, the smaller hermit-pages taking over the shells of their senior brethren.
 
Swarm of Bloodthirsty Doves
Number Encountered: 1
HD: 2
Attack: bloodletting peck (1d6 + 1 damage per round thereafter)
Armor: none
Morale: 5
 
Intruding Otter
Number Encountered: 1d6
HD: 1
Attack: 1 bite (1d6)
Morale: 5
Inquisitive, friendly, and will warn allies of nearby danger. They can also use rocks as simple bludgeons.
 
Lamprey
Number Encountered: 2d6
HD: 1-1
Attack: 1 bite (1d6 + latch on for subsequent rounds)
Armor: none
Morale: 4
 

Sosteiromachus the Vampire Squid
Number Encountered: 1
HD: 4+1
Attack: 2 filament lash (1d6) OR 1 bloodsucking bite (1d6 + latch on + 1 damage per round thereafter), OR spell
Armor: as chain
Morale: 10* (will not check morale, can be turned as a vampire)
Psychic seaborne undead cephalopod. Can cross moving water (of course), but cannot crawl on land for more than a few scant moments. Otherwise same weaknesses as a normal vampire. Knows mind control spells (such as charm and hold person) and the spell Darkness, all of which he can cast at-will.
 
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This is so stark and small because I was squeeeezing it into the front and back of a little graph paper notebook (the same one that I also wrote The Carven Carapace in!), so really a "final" version of this would be much more detailed and probably much larger. But, hopefully this is enough evocative sea-horror, enough wandering monsters, and enough hagfish mucus based traps for a nice little dungeon morsel :) 

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Shuddering Forms in Ancient Tomb Depths (Basic Undead for King of Kings)

Given that tomorrow is Halloween (and with roughly another month having passed since my last post... sigh, I really need to get back on blogging and back on running D&D games again, but I keep on meeting roadblocks and annoying hurdles (some my own fault, some not)), I figured it'd be as good a time as any to write about one of my favorite creepy types of D&D monsters: the UNDEAD! I've already written about the undead in King of Kings in a few different places: salt mummies, parrot-fiends, false prophets, and rusalki (not to mention various types of undead dinosaurs in session reports) have rounded out the kinds of dead things now walking in the world of the Enlightened Empire. So check those out if any of them catch your eye! Here, I wanted to make some original, King of Kings-ified versions of classic D&D undead, riffing on Gus L.'s Monster Archaeology posts from years back (a huuuuuge influence on me and my thinking about D&D), namely his post on Lesser Undead in OD&D (please PLEASE check it out !!)
 

The Reanimated
Number Encountered: N/A  
Hit Dice: 1  
Attacks: 1 claw (1d6) or weapon  
Armor: Unarmored (0)  
Morale: 6*  
Puppeteered: The reanimated are controlled by some outside force or being. If that control is severed or destroyed, the reanimated instantly collapse to the ground.  
Undead: Immune to poison, disease, mind effects, etc.  
Unfeeling: Do not react to being harmed. Do not make morale checks unless forced to (such as due to a dispelling or turning).
 
The dead are a tool, one that can be used to very effective ends in the right hands. Whatever their origin, condition, or the mode of their animation, these reanimated cadavers form the backbone of the art of necromancy.
 
Types of Reanimated
Fresh
In Good Condition: +1 to hit points.
Bloated
Buoyant: Floats in water.
Fetid Gas: A successful hit causes the corpse to release stinking gases. Save vs. stench or begin to vomit.
Rotting
Disease: The claws of a rotting corpse carry disease.
Horrifying Countenance: Rotting corpses are disgusting to behold. Save vs. disgust or take a -1 penalty to all rolls while you can see the corpse.
Pickled
Edible: Although it likely tastes poor, the pickled corpse is technically edible.
Preserved: The pickled corpse has advantage on saving throws against effects that would damage or disintegrate its body.
Skeletal
Fleshless: Skeletons are immune to cold effects and take half damage from fire.
Fragile: Skeletons take double damage from bludgeons.
 
There's practically innumerable ways for a corpse to be reanimated: a necromancer animating dead muscle with chthonic magic, a ghul's chilly touch bringing the body under thrall (keep an eye out for a post on ghuls that I keep procrastinating on), a nefarious carnivorous plant wrapping its vines around the limbs like a marionette, baleful rays from purple moon-rocks throbbing in the joints, or fished out of the pickling jars of some mad sorcerer. There is no one way to counteract all types of reanimation (although turning, given the influence of Truth over all things, can be effective against all types of reanimated).
 
[This is basically just my attempt at combining all possible types of "dead body controlled by a necromancer" into one statblock with little modular bits connected. Zombies and skeletons are already this type of undead in OD&D and Basic, so this is more or less a broadening from that original mold! Also, the note that they can be forced to do morale checks is my first clumsy attempt at integrating various ways of "turning" undead that first got introduced in the post on parrot-fiends, since the Unceasingly Useful Dermestid Box provides a secular alternative to undead-turning.]
 
While reanimated corpses lack all agency, being little more than hunks of flesh puppeteered by an outside actor, there are those of the living dead which cling to independence and whose shuddering mockery of life sneers at Truth. Two such willful bodies are worth touching upon here.
 

Barrow Body
Number Encountered: 1d6
Hit Dice: 3+1
Attacks: 1 touch (energy drain)
Armor: as chain (2)
Morale: 10*
Energy Drain: The touch of a barrow body drains a full experience level upon a successful hit. The victim loses one hit die's worth of HP, corresponding to-hit bonuses, and any class abilities gained from the level they lost. A character brought to level 0 by a barrow body dies and becomes a barrow body.
Invulnerability: Barrow bodies take no damage from non-magical missiles. While melee attacks can damage the body's... body, the daeva inhabiting it does not "die" until dispelled (i.e., the barrow body can be rendered immobile by melee damage, but it will still be "alive").
Paralyze with Terror: Anyone seeing a barrow body must save or be paralyzed with terror. Paralysis is broken if the barrow body attacks, goes out of sight, or if the victim is shaken out of it via smelling salts etc.
Undead: Immune to poison, disease, mind effects, etc.
Unfeeling: Do not react to being harmed. Do not make morale checks unless forced to (such as due to a dispelling or turning).

The death of a good, honest person is a victory for deceit, and thus corpses not properly protected (by a watchful dog (their mean gaze shielding from unclean spirits) or ritual fires) are vulnerable to possession by the invisible deceitful daeva Nasrusht. Nasrusht has no body, and thus hungers after bodies, for even feeling dulled by death and decay is more than the nothingness that is its normal existence. In the western satrapies at the core of the Enlightened Empire, Nasrusht is kept at bay by ritual excarnation, placing the body atop a tower of silence and leaving it open to be picked apart by carrion birds and dogs, before the bones are safely removed and ensconced in the tomb. Such towers are a more recent appearance here in the eastern satrapies. Instead, the locals since time immemorial are more accustomed to heretical burial practices: constructing barrow mounds to bury their heroes, or ensconcing them beneath great stone kurgans, flesh still on bone when set into the earth. Thus, for centuries generations of good, honest folk have been left open to rapacious Nasrusht, leaving an uncanny barrow body in many tombs. Some temple exorcists of the True Religion have made it a mission to wander the countryside and expel the Nasrusht-cursed corpses from their crypts, despite the protestations of villagers and tribesmen disgusted that their ancestors are being defiled so insultingly.
 
Corpses of good people are ritually unclean due to Nasrusht's influence, whether reanimated as a barrow body or otherwise. The only exception to this are ancient relics of saints, begrudgingly made clean by temple functionaries disappointed at the popularity of such local cults. Thus, victims of Nasrusht's touch, which makes the skin pallid and the face languid and drains the victim of the will to live and of their connection to their very selves as they become more alike to the dead than the living, will not be ministered to by temple priests until they are ritually washed and atoned. Their accursed half-life can only be dispelled by a high-ranking mobad, and not just any high-ranking mobad but one who has specialized in the art of forgiveness for uncleanliness via star-magic. Such mobads are rare, and likely to request very particular favors in exchange for their services (it is said that one such mobad-doctor, Behzad Marzbani, occasionally makes his appearance in Humakuyun when he isn't on his dhow in the Sea of Giants).
 
[For more on Nasrusht and burial practices in historic Iran, read the page on corpses in Encyclopaedia Iranica. Also note that IRL, the type of burial practice involving exposing the body to the elements actually originated in eastern Iran, not in the west, as I have it here, but I kinda flipped it for the purposes of the game.]
 
Yes, I maybe cleaved a bit too close to the look of the ringwraiths with this drawing but they look cool so

Rove-Wraith
Number Encountered: 1d6
Hit Dice: 4+1
Attacks: 1 weapon (1d6 + energy drain)
Armor: as chain+shield (2+shield)
Morale: 11*
Energy Drain: The sword of a rove-wraith drains a full experience level upon a successful hit. The victim loses one hit die's worth of HP, corresponding to-hit bonuses, and any class abilities gained from the level they lost. A character brought to level 0 by a rove-wraith dies and becomes a barrow body.
Invulnerability: Rove-wraiths take no damage from non-magical weapons, and half damage from silver weapons.
Mount: Rove-wraiths ride upon steeds made from smoke or congealed blood.
Paralyze with Terror: Anyone seeing a rove-wraith must save or be paralyzed with terror. Paralysis is broken if the rove-wraith attacks, goes out of sight, or if the victim is shaken out of it via smelling salts etc.
Undead: Immune to poison, disease, mind effects, etc.
Unfeeling: Does not react to being harmed. Does not make morale checks unless forced to (such as due to a dispelling or turning).

While good, honest corpses are left open to nefarious Nasrusht, the corpses of especially cruel and evil-hearted men, those most motivated toward deceit and destruction in life, are made unclean by their own conduct and can maintain willfulness after death. Most often, these are the corpses of rapacious conquerors, warlords, and tyrants, although especially cruel torturers and sorcerers are present among their number as well. They are called rove-wraiths because, in their desperate restlessness as they hunger after the pleasures of life, they wander about the wildernesses and palace complexes they once ruled over, never comfortable staying in one place (rather unlike the buried bodies held by Nasrusht, or ghuls cursed forever to a single spot). They become fixated on some object of their obsession in life, or on some cruel mission they never succeeded in following through to fruition, which they seek after in their wanderings (even if the mission was as simple as not feeling they had brought enough villages to heel). They are, however, thankfully rather solitary creatures, banding together into small and short-lived alliances of evil, and thus their forces are kept from overwhelming the world of living men.
 
1d12 Rove-Wraiths of the East and their Cruel Fixations
  1.  Yarga the Bloodthirsty: Barbarian tyrant of northern Numistan in ancient times, who once delighted in the lamentations of women. Now a blind and deaf mummy stiff under layers of clay with an uncanny drunken ability to dodge blows. Seeks a way to hear his favorite sound again.
  2. The Decapitatrix: The cruelest of amazon queens, who decapitated the victims of her raids, and then her own tribeswomen, until she herself came under the blade. A shuddering headlessness under dripping deer hides. Desperate for her own head, now lost.
  3. Dog-headed Dyan the Dreadful: The only known wraith of the dog-headed men, who are already known for their demon-haunted cruelty. He was known for injustices done unto babies and mothers. Just wants to taste succulent childflesh again, but for his burnt-out tongue.
  4. The Ringseeker: Eunuch advisor to an ancient tyrant, arch-liar and arch-torturer, whose foul tongue wormed its way into his liege's worst neuroses. Ashamed of himself, he seeks after a golden ring of his tyrant's seal, which he coveted from the ruler's heir.
  5. Shameful Once-Prince: Wraith of the ruling house of the Enlightened Empire, passed over for the throne due to his evilness, leading to uprising and civil war. Disfigured, scarred, and perpetually sobbing, he wanders after his insistent birthright.
  6. Farahnaz the Ferocious: Warrior woman tyrant of the mountain fastnesses, now ghastly and bent over like a dessicated monkey, sword in hand. Wanders the mountains searching for the dragon (now long-dead) that she abandoned her kingdom to starvation for.
  7. Skazzadraxx of Tandurstan: Ancient dino-wraith king, whose palace (now half-buried and rotten) was a circus maximus of gore, wherein the now-decrepit thunder lizard mockingly murdered human slaves for the delight of reptile masters. Seeks after rivers of blood once again.
  8. The Star-Blind: Selfish sorcerer who sought to spy on all souls in the world through meditations on the north star as an aspect of many-eyed Mihr. Empty eye sockets glowing with starlight, skin bursting with a thousand betrayed secrets, he wanders just wanting to finally die but Mihr won't let him.
  9. Filth-Festerer: Mother of a dozen diseases, she was a selfish chthonic sorcerer who bred daevas in her bloodstream and had sex with feces-covered false prophets. Her skin sloughs off like a loose robe as clouds of flies festoon her. She seeks the ancient evil known as the Red Death.
  10. Queen Naghme: Poisoner of two dozen husbands and suitors, now given over to spiders and snakes. Her pallid skin bulges with the venomous things crawling beneath the surface, wrapped in her black rag. She seeks after the tomb of her son, in order to marry him.
  11. Nameless Betrayer: Eunuch of an ancient tyranny whose betrayal was so rank that his name was expunged from all records, all monuments, and all speech. Shamefully shuddering in a ragged rug clutching a curved dagger, he seeks after his own name, surely still recorded somewhere.
  12. [ ]: Sorcerer who sought to bring about the Deluge anew, putting his ear to the ground to listen to the whispers of the caged false stars below. Killed a hundred or more in rituals mocking the sun, but never sought his own immortality, instead being magically suicidal. Cursed by Truth to spit brine when he attempts to speak, he knows his name but it is anathema to be spoken. Seeks out the salt desert, so he may finally dry.

[Yes, these are just wights and wraiths... BUT my hope is that they're at the very least an interesting take on wights and wraiths, that tie them more into the setting :) Thank you for reading and have a happy Halloween!] 

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Peasants and Nomads (Rural Backgrounds for King of Kings)

Many moons ago, in fact only one month after I first began this blog, I wrote a post with 30 character backgrounds for urban characters in King of Kings. Since one of the running themes of my blog output this year has and will continue to be "finally getting around to finishing things that I didn't finish Multiple Years Ago," and since I'm planning on starting the King of Kings campaign up again soon, I figured I would write up the complement to the original post: 30 backgrounds for peasants and other rural folk.
 
Unfortunately, since writing that first paragraph it has now taken me an additional month and a half to actually stop procrastinating and shying away from working on it and post the damn table. If I wasn't like this my blog would be so prolific I swear.
 
Also, for a smaller additional background table, check out this post about the Kingdom of the Straits, KoK's answer to historical Aksum
 
Rural Shahanistanis

While perhaps most adventurers would come from the urban underclasses, the overwhelming majority of the Enlightened Empire is rural, whether landless peasants, smallholders, herders, or members of mountain and desert tribes. In parentheses next to each background/failed career (because why would a peasant become an adventurer if their life in the countryside hadn't been disrupted in some way?) is whatever item(s) the background provides the character. Additionally, as noted in the other background post, characters are assumed to be able to just do things that their career would imply they should be able to do, skills-wise.
 
Qajar-era, so it's way later than the period I take more inspiration from, but it's kinda tough to find not-modern rural scenes from Iran


Roll 1d30 or choose:

painting by Edwin Lord Weeks
1. Ashamed cowherd (a switch, an empty yoke, a large waterskin, an overwhelming shame)
2. Burnt orchardist (a basket, a ladder, noticeable burns on the skin)
3. Churner (a yogurt churn, a wooden spoon, a waterskin full of doogh or ayran, a smile wherever you go) 
4. Collapsed coal miner (a pet cricket that chirps around unclean spirits, a pickax, a disabling injury)
5. Defiled shrine custodian (the last icon from your shrine, tattered vestments, hate in your heart)
6. Desert youth (a staff, a knife, loose robes and a head cloth, the knowledge that when you return home your own camel is waiting for you)
7. Dispossessed farmer (a knife, a mattock, a bag of seeds, nothing else to your name)
8. Escaped salt miner (a bag of salt you stole, a pickax, constant anxiety that someone will find you or the sky will fall on your head)
mosaic, Great Palace of Constantinople ca. 500s
9. Foot-washer (a jug of water, a clay dish, a sense of loyalty and purpose, a piece of gossip)
10. Former miller (your last bag of flour, a mule, a millstone somewhere far away)
11. Gleaner (an empty sack, a trowel, a hunched over back, a closely observant pair of eyes)
12. Goatherd (a switch, a goat, a short stool, stubbornness)
13. Hills tribesman (a spear, a sling, a hunting snare, a necklace made of wolf teeth)
14. Hunter (a knife, a hunting snare, a hunting dog OR caracal)

probably also 19th century
15. Inconsistent weaver (a half-finished rug, a simple loom, shaky hands)
16. Inexperienced blacksmith (a hammer, tongs, a cumbersome lump of misshapen metal)
17. Leather worker (animal skins, cow brains, a knife, nobody wants to get near you)
18. Lizard wrangler (a lasso, a bludgeon, sturdy feet and sturdy hands)
19. Mystic follower (a rough and itchy mantle, a map of the night sky drawn on tree bark, a mystic master you revere)
20. Potter (a pottery wheel, a hunk of clay, steady hands, a good impression when you walk into town)
21. Provincial princeling (an old-fashioned cylinder seal, actual literacy, a sword, the knowledge you will never inherit your family's estate)
22. Runaway bride/groom (brightly-colored clothes, a dowry you stole, a worry that you're letting someone down)
23. Runner-up wrestler (meels (training weights), a heavy coat, a rival who's better at wrestling than you)
24. Shepherd (a sheep, a crook, a pair of shears, a calm attitude)
female gusan, from the Armenian Haghpat Gospel, ca. 1211
25. Snake catcher (a burlap bag, a snare, a hammer, a couple dead snakes)
26. Unclean swineherd (a switch, a pig, a sturdy pair of boots, looked down upon by all)
27. Unlucky fisherman (a net, a fishing line, despondency)
28. Unpopular exorcist (a bunch of iron nails, a container of well-used olive oil, a paper talisman)
29. Village drunkard (a half-full wineskin, a wooden bowl, an unsteady stance)
30. Wandering gusan (a duduk OR chahartar, a cone to hold your hair up, memorized poetry and song)



Jean-Francois Millet, The Gleaners
(yeah its 19th century and French but it's a good painting!!!)



 

Friday, July 25, 2025

ONE HUNDREDTH POST ON SAVE VS WORM !!!!!!!!

 

This is the 100th POST on SAVE vs. WORM !!!!

(I've been holding off on posting anything else until I make this post so that the timing works out exactly... but then I majorly procrastinated on actually making this for a few reasons, it's now a full month later than I originally wanted it to be out, I'm maybe the worst procrastinator ever, but anyway)

As a result, I reserve the right make one (1) incredibly self-indulgent self-reflective post with a big announcement (stay tuned to the end!) and a look back on ten years of D&D blogging... wait, 10 years? But this blog has only existed since October 2020?
 
Yes, but 2015 was the year that I made my first foray into OSR blogging, over at the very clumsily-named marsworms-rpgs.blogspot.com. I was 14 years old (actually 13 when I first started the blog since it was shortly before my birthday!) and trying to break out of just lurking on blogs like Goblin Punch, Dungeon of Signs, Dreams in the Lich House, and more, and start posting my own adventures and ideas. The original blog was honestly half-baked at times and never got all that much attention, and after three years of posting to it through multiple different phases of the blog's existence (including one where I leaned into a very over-the-top chaotic tone of voice with inconsistent capitalizations for effect while I described more overtly weird settings), I abandoned it and transitioned entirely to writing D&D stuff for my own enjoyment (and for my high school game) in Google docs. Wasn't until fall 2020 that I had the idea for King of Kings and started using this blog, and haven't stopped ever since (a few hiatuses notwithstanding).
 
But, before I share some highlighted posts from marsworms-rpgs (for those who might be interested to see what a teen way too into OSR stuff was up to in the mid 2010s I guess), the most important thing to highlight about my old blog is that its technically the place where the earliest GLOG was posted, kind of, maybe, by a technicality. This is something that came to the attention of the OSR server when I joined that back in 2020, so some of y'all definitely already know this. On August 3rd, 2015, I posted a link to an original Gamma World-inspired ruleset called Mutants & Machines of the Baffling Badlands (MMotBB for short). I took mechanical inspiration for MMotBB from A Rulset of My Very Own, a pre-GLOG ruleset developed by Arnold K. that would later develop into the GLOG! When the GLOGgers in the OSR server found that out, they decided to add this little abandoned ruleset to the big spreadsheet of GLOGhacks as "technically the first GLOGhack" since it came out a full year before the GLOG proper. I guess that's my contribution to the hobby there!
 
Here's links to some of the other more interesting posts from my original blog:
I also figure I could use this as an opportunity to highlight some of the most popular and most underrated (in my view) posts on Save vs. Worm as well!
 
First, of course, I want to highlight having finished the Goin' Through the Fiend Folio series! 17 parts, more than 150 monsters, and several digressions back into the early days of the hobby via the Fiend Factory column in White Dwarf, where many of the monsters originated! Check out the newly-created Goin' Through the Fiend Folio Archive page for a nice centralized repository of links to those posts and anything related to them. I'd also like to highlight the amazing work done by my good friend Nick LS Whelan over at Blogs on Tape, an incredibly valuable podcast-by-way-of-archiving-project to record audio versions of blog posts that represent the OSR blogosphere; two posts of mine, A Forgotten Monster: The Cruel Jackdog and The Dog who Speaks Softly and the Woman who Barks Like a Dog were recently featured over on Blogs on Tape!

Before going into all-time most-viewed posts, here's the graph of the blog's view analytics over the past 5 years.

While there was a very sizeable, and for the longest time all-time highest, peak in late 2021, it's actually kinda notable at least to me that the blog's REAL all-time peak was this year! And seemingly not even that long ago! Save vs. Worm entering its line go up era ??? This is gonna be my elfgame equivalent of the Japanese economic boom.

Anywho, my all-time most viewed posts as of July 24th, 2025 have been:
Genuinely surprised that part 15 is the only Fiend Folio review post other than the first one to get into the top ten. I was going to say something about how the trick for a post to get into the top ten of all time is to just be on the blog for a while but that's not quite true, there's some very recent features on here! What folks seem to really like are things that riff on iconic D&D things (like the ear-covered Listener or the product identity post), everyone likes the Fiend Folio review series, and of my King of Kings posts, the most popular ones are generally monster posts. 
 
However, many of my BEST posts are UNJUSTLY ignored and maligned by the HIDEOUS CROWD... these UNDER-RATED posts receive nothing but CALUMNIES and PERSECUTIONS and IGNORING from people on like. reddit.com/r/OSR or whatever. Anyway, I do just want to take this opportunity to  highlight some posts I personally really think are worth a read, perhaps even worth a comment, but which have less than 500 views (and, ideally on the lower side of that!)
I think I can safely blame the long German title for the low view count on that last one there, but it's genuinely quite good!!
 
But, well, 100 posts in, we aren't stopping now! I've spent plenty of words and plenty of links on reflecting on things I've written, but I'll also use this as an opportunity to touch on plans for the future of the blog. For the most part, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. I've got a lot of posts in the pipeline, mostly for King of Kings related things, and I'm about to be restarting the King of Kings campaign after 2 years of hiatus, so look forward to a return of session reports and more late antique Iranian stuff that's really grounded in the needs of the game. I also generally want to start writing and posting more dungeons, since location-based adventure design is so important to OSR play yet often so underrepresented in our online output, myself included. Also keep an eye out for more branching out into other genres, especially my perennial favorites, modern horror and Gamma World style post apocalypse. I still really need to put the notes from that Underneath campaign I ran back in 2023 together to upload to the blog.
 
And, most importantly of all, I've got a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT !
  
I will be releasing a King of Kings adventure location zine! It's been in the works in unfinished form for four years now, because everything takes me ages to actually get around to doing for some reason, but anyway, I'm actually going to follow through now. Here's a couple of example page spreads as a lil teaser visual, since I don't yet have a cover ready:
 


Keep an eye out for MORTUARY ON MOTH MOUNTAIN , an adventure location zine for [x] players of [y] level set in the ancient world of King of Kings! I'm planning on releasing it digital-only via itch.io at first, but a print run will likely follow once I'm able to do that. 
 
Anyway, that's much too many words about me! I'm really glad that even a few people get anything out of my elfgame ramblings and ancient Persian mumblings, so thank you for reading. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming! 

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Mnemovore Worms and Phantasmal Plants

In the year 1837, a short paper was read by me before the Geological Society of London, “On the Formation of Mould,” in which it was shown that small fragments of burnt marl, cinders, &c., which had been thickly strewed over the surface of several meadows, were found after a few years lying at the depth of some inches beneath the turf, but still forming a layer.  This apparent sinking of superficial bodies is due, as was first suggested to me by Mr. Wedgwood of Maer Hall in Staffordshire, to the large quantity of fine earth continually brought up to the surface by worms in the form of castings.  These castings are sooner or later spread out and cover up any object left on the surface.  I was thus led to conclude that all the vegetable mould over the whole country has passed many times through, and will again pass many times through, the intestinal canals of worms.  Hence the term “animal mould” would be in some respects more appropriate than that commonly used of “vegetable mould.”
-Charles Darwin, The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms, 1881
 
The world of the jinn is like a translucent layer atop mortal reality, where those made of smokeless fire and other spirits are always unhidden. But, if one with eyes unclouded were to peer into this layer, in addition to the monstrous forms of shimmering spirits, they would see something else: a thin and somewhat mushy layer of what looks like softly glowing dirt. A field of this substance, spirit dirt or memory mold, blankets the world of the jinn, a thin layer even abounding on human architecture and statuary, and on the shoulders of those who bathe (either with water or sand) very infrequently. This humus (not hummus!!) is the product of one of the perhaps most humble subjects of the realm of spirits, the mnemovore worm.
 

Mnemovore Worm
Number Encountered: 2d4 OR 1 swarm
Hit Dice: 1 hit point OR 1+1 HD for a swarm
Attacks: 1 mental bore OR 6 mental bores (when in a swarm) (see below)
Armor: none
Morale: 4 
Mental Bore: Mnemovore worms leap up from the spirit dirt and pass straight through their victim's skull in search of their quarry: memories. The target must save vs. wands or forget something, determined at random:
Roll 1d12:
  1. A memory from their youth. 
  2. An event from a month previous.
  3. An event from a week previous.
  4. An event from the day previous.
  5. An NPC the party has worked with (this can include hirelings).
  6. How to exit the dungeon or how to find their way back home.
  7. How to use one of their weapons (disadvantage on to-hit rolls, removed after familiarity returns 1d6 attacks with the weapon later).
  8. Ability with a skill or power other than spellcasting (disadvantage on rolls with said skill, removed after familiarity returns 1d10 attempts later).
  9. 1 prepared spell (they don't forget the spell completely, they just no longer have it prepared that day; if a non-spellcaster, re-roll).
  10. Knowledge of 1 spell entirely (would have to seek out a teacher to re-learn the spell; if a non-spellcaster, re-roll).
  11. Ability with a language (bumped down from fluency (if they could write the language, they lose that completely); if rolled a second time (3rd if they could read and write), they no longer speak that language).
  12. An aspect of their personality (re-roll INT, WIS, or CHA, determined at random). 
Psychic Attraction: Mnemovore worms are attracted to magic-users, especially higher-level magic-users, as well as charismatic leaders. If a character has 15+ CHA or 3+ spells memorized, roll 1 die size higher on the wandering monster table (so d8 instead of d6, etc.); any results above 6 will be encounters with mnemovore worms. If a character has 6+ spells memorized, roll 2 die sizes higher (so d10 instead of d6, etc.).
Spirit: As spirits, mnemovore worms are immune to damage from mundane weapons. They take damage from magic, heated up silver weapons, intelligent swords, and the attacks of jinn. They can pass through clothing, armor, and flesh as if it wasn't even there, but cannot pass through walls. They can only be seen by jinn or by those with eyes unclouded.
 
Mnemovore worms are a crucial part of the spiritual-magical-mental ecosystem. They are the primary cause for forgetfulness, saving human brains from being overloaded with too much information. And, though humble and small, these little worms are one of the things keeping wizards in check. There are more than a few stories of sorcerer-tyrants from ages past steaming themselves to death in specially constructed silver contraptions heated with boiling water in order to keep the mnemovores out.
 
Memories enter a mnemovore worm through the mouth, and exit as spirit dirt. This memory-based mass serves as the fertile ground for all sorts of phantasmal plants which populate the realm of the jinn. While jinn generally (hehe, jinnerally) eat the same grains and meats that humans do (albeit generally restricted only to what is left over uneaten by humankind), they supplement their diets with such spectral produce. Phantasmal plants are also used by the jinn as medicine, and a gift of ghost-root or invisible leaf (or even the intel to know where a copse of such plants grows) is a reward a jinn may give to an ally, friend, or master.
 
A selection of phantasmal plants from below: a fishroot, a crawling scaletree, some grasping fragrances, some thief's eyes, and a wilting faint

 
1d12 Phantasmal Plants
  1. Crawling Scaletree: A race of ancient antediluvian tree with bark like reptile's scales and thin needles on its branches. Ever since going extinct their ghostly forms crawl across the spirit-dirt aimlessly. 
  2. Fishroot: From the surface of the memory mold, appears as a mass of long pale fronds, but when uprooted, its wriggling eyeless fish form is revealed. The fronds can be eaten to cure stomach ailments, despite its astringent bitter taste. The fish-like root has a fatty liver that can be rubbed on weapons to make them temporarily phase between worlds. 
  3. Ghost Ginkgo: Strangely enough, ginkgo trees span the divide between worlds. Their foul-smelling fruits have no uses, but their seeds and leaves can cure lung and kidney illness. These eastern trees are only known over here in the menageries of sorcerers and nobles. 
  4. Ghostgrass: Tall stretches of softly glowing pale green grass, gently swaying in the nonexistent breeze. Causes mysterious feelings of cold when passed through, whether one can see the grass or not. 
  5. Grasping Fragrance: Sprouting directly out of the spirit dirt, grasping fragrances reach for those who pass, hoping to attach onto them and spread their fragrance (the means by which they reproduce) far and wide. Smelling the wrist of a grasping fragrance cures paralysis. 
  6. Hedgehog Herb: Only visible in the realm of men and beasts during the full moon, and very few even know what it looks like then. When its leaves are rubbed on metal locks, it corrodes them.
  7. Pillarwife: About five-foot tall pale trunks that ooze a salty sap when cut. Very confused deer and goats gather around the sites of phantasmal pillarwives without being able to find where the salt lick actually is. 
  8. Prickly Marid: A rebellious plant that does anything it can to not be cut, squirming out of the way of blades. Its stalks can be brewed into a tea: drinking it causes blindness, while pouring it on petrified flesh un-petrifies it (and the reverse for un-petrified flesh). 
  9. Sprouting Id: A thorny bush with a single bright red flower at its apex. When picked and made into a tea, it brings out the worst, most base aspect in the drinker. 
  10. Thief's Eyes: A plant that spans the jinn's world and the world of men and beasts, with eyes clouded it appears as thin stalks tipped by eye-shaped berries, while in the spirit world these eyes are surrounded by ghostly ghoulish faces. When eaten causes hidden gold to glow in one's vision for 1 hour. 
  11. Vengeful Father: A sprouting bush that superficially looks like a laid-out dead body. It produces juicy brightly-colored fruit, sweet-smelling and sweet-tasting, that (when the skin is broken) painfully lash out with knife-sharp edges of its inside flesh. 
  12. Wilting Faint: Its petals form a vaguely humanoid outline, one arm held across the "forehead" as if fainting. If eaten, induces fainting, but its scent breaks fevers.

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It took everything in my power to not call them ectoplasmic worms a la Noroi or Senritsu Kaiki File Kowasugi (check those out if you're at all interested in Japanese horror films, Koji Shiraishi is the GOAT). While the above is written with King of Kings in mind, I intend on incorporating the mnemovore worms into other game settings, namely Gamma Ohio or modern horror like the short mini-campaign using Underneath that I made one post about a couple years back. I really gotta get around to cleaning up my notes from that campaign and putting them up here, modern horror TTRPGs is something I'd like to do more with! Anywho, keep your heated silver ready if you've got a lot of thoughts bangin' around up there, and see you next time!

Tuesday, June 3, 2025

Wasserdämonen des Landes der Dunkelheit (Three Monsters (and Two Lairs) for King of Kings)

Lake Blut, nestled in the northern foothills of the World's Edge Mountains, is a dangerous body of water. The northern barbarians that dwell on its shore warn their children to steer clear of the water, lest they be snatched and eaten by Der Blutschink, an unclean spirit of the lake that thrives on blood. Even adults are wary whenever they must venture across the fog-shrouded waters to fish or attend to the shrine on the other side. The Land of Darkness is home to many terrible things, and in this corner of it, that means this bloody demon of the water.
 

Der Blutschink
Number Encountered: 1
Hit Dice: 8
Attacks: 2 claw (1d6) + 1 bite (1d8)
Armor: as leather + shield
Morale: 9
Bloodsucking: The Blutschink thrives on the blood of lively humans. If a claw attack and bite attack successfully hit the same target, he grabs hold of them and latches his sharp teeth onto their body to suck their blood. He continues to hold onto them, draining 1d6 HP per round, until the victim is pulled out of his grasp. While sucking the victim's blood, the Blutschink can only make 1 claw attack to any other target. The Blutschink will never suck the blood of anyone that is currently ill or the victim of a curse, or any Froglings or Elves. He loves sucking the blood of children.
Collection: The Blutschink collects together the bones and baubles of his victims in a pile hidden in the vicinity of his lake. He often constructs elaborate towers out of the bones.
Resistances: The Blutschink is immune to damage from mundane weapons. He is only harmed by magical weapons and weapons made from gold. 
Swallow: If the Blutschink brings an opponent down to 1 HP by sucking their blood, the next attack (if it successfully hits) instead results in the Blutschink crushing them into a condensed shape and swallowing them whole.
Trap-Setting: The Blutschink sets traps made from vines and roots around the edge of his lake to ensnare any victims who venture too close to the shore. 
 
Der Blutschink appears as a dark-furred bear with snaggly mismatched fangs, long arms that hang at his sides, and human legs constantly dripping with blood. His snout, buried deep in the guts of his victims, is always caked with blood, dripping down onto his chest and arms. Der Blutschink's presence is always apparent from the slowly spreading swirls of blood that seep through the water of Lake Blut as he wades through. He can speak, but he is a child-eating water demon of few words, mostly growling, grunting, and pitifully mewling. And, ultimately, he cannot be pacified or placated; at certain points in the history of Bairglyana, town on the shores of Lake Blut, frenzied prophets have begun programs of regular child-sacrifice to stave off the beast, but, like, well, a bear getting used to human food and venturing further into civilization, this only made him hunger more (and so, such schemes were abandoned). For as long as anyone can remember, Der Blutschink has haunted the lake and devoured the occasional child or fisherman that ventured just far enough away from the lights of the village.
 
That is, until now.
 
Vodyanoy in three of his forms

In recent days, another water demon has taken residence in Lake Blut, and seems poised to evict the lake's longtime residence entirely. Vodyanoy, "He from the Water," the many-bodied but of one mind amphibious shapeshifter whose presence is steadily expanding across the many lakes, rivers, and streams of the Land of Darkness, has arrived. In his base form, Vodyanoy appears as a fleshy frog-like humanoid with long drooping facial hair, usually wearing a wide-brimmed hat made from sedges and clothing made of algae and water lilies. When he arrives in a new body of water, the deepest hole in the bottom of the lake becomes a doorway to his half-sunken home, where him and his wife Vodyanitsa collect the souls of drowning victims in clay jars. A wannabe lesser god, Vodyanoy (who is himself subject to Tir, also known as the star Sirius, the god of rain) sets up shop in a new lake or river and makes a nuisance of himself, dragging sheep and cows and children beneath the waves and blocking up waterwheels to pressure the locals to make offerings of butter and honeycomb (his two favorite foods). He upholds his end of the bargain, though; as the owner of all the freshwater fishes, he provides for bounteous catches, and even exerts some influence on the beehives to keep the flow of honey going. And it would seem that Vodyanoy, that selfish godling, and his wife Vodyanitsa have set their sights on Bairglyana to expand their sphere of influence. And Der Blutschink is in the way; can't have two water demons haunting the same lake, now can you?
 
Vodyanoy 
Number Encountered: 1
Hit Dice: 6+1
Attacks: 2 attacks of varying type (see below) (1d6)
Armor: as leather
Morale: 9
Catfish Mount: The Vodyanoy often rides upon an oversized wels catfish (2 HD, 1 bite attack (1d6), armor as leather, can't move on land).
Drowning: Vodyanoy will attempt to drown targets if they get too close to the water. A target must make a save vs. paralysis or be dragged under the water and drown within 1d8 combat rounds. 
Many Instances: There is only one Vodyanoy, but he appears in many instances across many lakes and rivers in the Land of Darkness. The only way to kill Vodyanoy would be to eliminate all of his instances, but there are too many to count. At best, he can only be dispelled from a given body of water.
Offerings: Vodyanoy is placated by offerings of melted butter, cooking oil, honey and honeycombs, and live sheep or cattle.
Owner of Fish: All fish and other freshwater animals in the Land of Darkness are understood to be "owned" by Vodyanoy. He has uncanny influence over them, and can call forth up to 20 HD of freshwater animals per day. He especially favors eels, catfish, and frogs.
Resistances and Weaknesses: Vodyanoy is immune to damage from mundane weapons. He is only harmed by magical weapons and weapons made from gold. He is afraid of fire; all fire effects deal +1 damage. He is also dissuaded by the sign of Par (the god Truth as misunderstood by the northern forest-dwelling barbarians).
Shapeshifting: The Vodyanoy can take on a variety of forms. These include: his base, frog-like humanoid form; a soaking wet fat peasant man; a large freshwater fish; a floating log; or a floating tree trunk with wings that allows him to fly short distances. The mode of his attack changes with his form (so in his peasant form he attacks with farm tools, slams against his target in his log form, etc.). 
 

Vodyanitsa, Vodyanoy's wife, is a rusalka, the lingering presence of a young woman who drowned herself because of an unhappy marriage (or, in some cases, was drowned by her conniving husband-widower). Rusalki look like pallid young women with long, wild, unbraided hair flowing down from their heads, wide eyes and lips the color of drowning. Their heads are oft adorned with sedges and wilted roses. They linger on lakeshores and clamber up in the trees, becoming undying spirits of the waters of the forests. Not all rusalki are murderers, but many are; and, as spirits of the gentle waters, they kill mostly indirectly, with exhaustion and suffocation. The most vengeful rusalki call men (mostly men) out into the waters to drown them. A rusalka will dissipate if her hateful husband is killed (or, if he is already dead, if his grave is at least desecrated), but most take too much delight in their new un-lives to want that resolution. And there is, of course, always the risk that with the rusalka of a given river dispelled, the river itself will trickle away to nothing. The kindest rusalki often watch over the rivers that feed cities of thousands; and it would be a truly evil design to get justice for these souls.
 
Vodyanitsa is much happier with her new husband than she ever was while she was alive. Unlike Vodyanoy, there is only one Vodyanitsa (in mind and in body), and whenever she leaves their subaquatic home for a specific lake or river her husband inhabits, that Vodyanitsa is the real one.

I just really wanted to find a place for this illustration of a nix, more or less the German equivalent of a rusalka. One of my favorite pictures ever!!

Rusalka
Number Encountered: 1d12
Hit Dice: 3+1
Attacks: 1 forced dance OR 1 tickle OR 1 drown (see below)
Armor: none
Morale: 8
Drowning: When in water, a rusalka will attempt to draw her victim out and then drag them below, tying up their legs in her long hair. A target must make a save vs. paralysis or be dragged under the water and drown within 1d8 combat rounds.
Forced Dancing: When outside of water, a rusalka can point at a target and force them to begin dancing on a failed save. They will keep dancing until either they collapse from exhaustion or a spell frees them from her grasp.
Tickling: A rusalka can tickle someone to death. The target must save or succumb to laughter and be unable to act that turn; three failed saves and the victim's heart gives out and they die. A target who has collapsed from exhaustion (see above) dies immediately if a rusalka tickles them.
Turning: As undead, rusalki can be turned by priests of Truth. However, during the festival of roses (a week in the month of Thaigrasihr), they are immune to turning. During that time, they are especially bold.
 
Der Blutschink's island

While Der Blutschink does not sleep, he does have a lair, a little island where he collects together the refuse from his devouring and where he goes to just mope. Recently, especially with Vodyanoy's arrival (which Der Blutschink is well aware of), he has been very morose and hopeless. He still hunts for children to suck the blood of and eat, but he just doesn't feel with it anymore. It seems to him that the writing is on the wall, and the era of Der Blutschink may genuinely be at an end. When he is encountered, a reaction roll, rather than providing a range of results from hostile to friendly, is instead from whether he is angry and lashing out to moping and despondent. During the day, there is a 4-in-6 chance that Der Blutschink is in his island lair; at night, a 2-in-6 chance. His lair is covered with elaborate towers made from human bones and pieces of clothing, including some treasure. There is a 2-in-6 chance of a tower having a bauble or piece of jewelry worth 1d6x20 drachmae on it (these aren't an especially rich people). If Der Blutschink is angry while in his lair, he will lash out and knock over these towers, scattering their contents everywhere. Der Blutschink, despite his communication difficulties and thirst for blood, would greatly appreciate any attempt to remove Vodyanoy from Lake Blut. He has never been offered help before.
 
Vodyanoy and Vodyanitsa's apartment. 1: Entrance chamber, 2: Main room, 3: Collection of souls in clay jars, 4: Pantry.

Vodyanoy and Vodyanitsa's underwater apartment can be found at the bottom of a whirlpool on the eastern side of the lake. There is a 2-in-6 chance at any time that Vodyanoy is in the apartment, and a 4-in-6 chance that Vodyanitsa is. Entering the lair is simple: allow yourself to get sucked down the whirlpool. However, if one or both of the pair of water demons are in the apartment when you enter, they will immediately know. The safest bet would be waiting until you know that both of them are lurking on the lake; Vodyanoy is the harder to spot of the two, but Vodyanitsa sings a plaintive song. 
 
Their apartment is comparatively small, with walls directly carved out of rock and dirt, water dripping and roots hanging from the ceiling. The main room has a large rug in Shahanistani style (now long watterlogged) on the floor, and several sitting/sleeping cushions stuffed with leaves along with a low-lying table or workbench. The walls are festooned with racks of kitchen utensils and household tools, as well as a shelf of twine and pieces of forest plants. A side room has walls lined with shelves holding clay jars with the souls of drowning victims (a few are actually the souls of drowned animals!). These jars are labeled with a name and their date of death. If the jar is opened or broken apart, the soul will release itself and its ghostly presence will, for one time only, assist the one who freed it. A large pantry next to the soul-room holds jars of honey and butter and crusts of bread.
 
Vodyanoy and Vodyanitsa would be greatly appreciative of any assistance in ousting Der Blutschink from the lake. They are rather self-important, but they understand when a deal must be struck; unlike Der Blutschink, they have experience in doing deals with mortals. Vodyanoy will promise gifts of items imbued with his power to those who promise to help him. These will primarily take the form of simple things woven from sedges that have control over freshwater animals. He can also provide gold coins, but these will reveal themselves to be river rocks when back in civilization.
 
Lake Blut and environs. The star is the town of Bairglyana, the triangle is a shrine to a local hunter-god, the tower is Der Blutschink's island lair, and the spiral is the whirlpool that leads to Vodyanoy's apartment.

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The Blutschink was featured in the classic D&D hobbyist publication All the Worlds' Monsters, put out by Chaosium. The first volume even came out before the Monster Manual, making AtWM the first dedicated D&D monster book if you don't count Vol. 2: Monsters & Treasure! However, the version of the Blutschink in AtWM left something to be desired:
 

Just tacking on a bloodsucking mechanic onto the preexisting bear hug rules makes a lot of sense, but that's basically all this has going on, and its appearance is just "Looks exactly like a bear." I tried to do some more research into the folkloric background of the Blutschink, which was honestly kinda difficult because it doesn't seem that there's been any academic or even popular writing on it in English! But the name does imply the most interesting aspect of its appearance, which AtWM misses: the human legs (Blutschink means "blood ham," comparing human thighs to a ham hock). And, well, the rest of this post just flowed from me wanting to put this weird piece of Tyrolean folklore somewhere in King of Kings! The Vodyanoy is another monster from real world folklore that I've loved for quite some time, so it seemed like a no-brainer to use this as an opportunity to write up a very folkloric-style Vodyanoy for King of Kings and other old school games. Anyway, hope any of y'all can get any use out of this scenario/location or the monsters inhabiting it! Thanks for reading!
 
Also here's this side profile sketch of Der Blutschink from when I was first sketching him out. I liked how he looks in profile :)